Missing murderd brother

by Teria hamm
(taumarunui new Zealand)

July 16 2014 my only brother had been reported missing in Australia he was my elder aged 34 now 35 he was suspected murdered but has never been found since, the horrible event took place on the 16 July but we did not find out till 20 July that same day happened to be my sons 5th b day strait after his bday I received the phone call as it was all over media he had been missing.the feeling that my only sibling had been suspected murdered,and no body had been found ,was like a stab to my heart I knew he had gotten into the wrong things drugs etc.

3 days later the men responsible were caught and have not been sentenced yet but are in jail,they have not admitted to the murder but there was a person driving my brother who identified them. Feel free to google my brothers events gordon Hamm and it will appear please I dont know anybody who can share The stories or feelings as he has not been found, so we have had no closure,but the nature and evidence shows there was a murder,can somebody help me urgently,where I live there are no trained Councillors and I found it hard speaking to one having to bring the story and the emotion up hurts but somebody with the same understanding would be much appreciated.

Comments for Missing murderd brother

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Jul 15, 2014
Missing murdered brother
by: Doreen UK

Teria this is such a hard place to be right now. Your only sibling missing and presumed dead, but without a body to bury/cremate will make your grief that much worse. Perhaps if there is a court case and the men are tried it may make it hard for you being in the court depending on your emotional state at the time. You say that you had a difficult experience with a counsellor because they kept bringing up the issues relating to the loss of your brother and it made you hurt more, and it seems like you didn't want to go there.
The nature of counselling is confronting issues relating to the loss of your brother which would also touch base with the REALITY that he is presumed dead. Facing the TRUTH is not to hurt you but to help you with any numbness, shock, or denial that may be around and preventing you from moving forward. It only means that if you are not able to tackle these issues they would be repressed and one day start pressing for resolution. It could be many years future and would mean your life would be put on hold. You could miss valuable years of living. If you are able to face this REALITY of your missing brother now and process and deal with all the events surrounding your missing brother/presumed dead, you would recover better. It is always more painful facing the Truth, but better in the end. I do have a personality that wants to face and confront issues from my past so I read self help books which only took me so far and I didn't heal till I went into counselling for 4yrs. and resolved 40yrs. of depression. I grew up not knowing how or what to do with my life's issues so just stuffed them down and got on with living. Only I realised it stopped me from living, and being the best person I could be. By that time I had a husband and 3 children and doing my best to do family life and work on my own issues reading books to try and change. Change only took place by me doing one to one counselling. It was more painful and frustrating trying to remember. But it was worth the pain and the expense. It was the best investment I made emotionally and financially. I feel healed/whole as much as I could be. No one ever resolves everything. Only as much as they need to so it allows them to live to their full potential.
There are no easy answers to what you are dealing with at the moment. Just knowing that these men are behind bars will allow you Peace of mind. If you believe in GOD. Make Him a priority in your life as our Creator, Healer, and Saviour from Life with all its hardships. You may never have CLOSURE without a body. But you can honour your brother in many ways. If you have a garden you can plant a corner just for him and put flowers in it and some ornaments, e.g. Angels, fairies, birds, or anything relevant from the garden centre. I have done this for my husband who I lost to cancer 2yrs. ago. This is his corner. You will find other ways to honour your brother by knowing his habits and his likes and dislikes and be able to put together something honourable and in HIS MEMORY. I HOPE THIS HELPS!.

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