Missing My Brother/ December 25, 2011

by Shannon Michaels
(Dalton, GA)

I lost my brother on December 25, 2011. I haven’t lived around him in years but we were more than just brother and sister, we were more like twins. Our grandmother calls us Irish twins because our birthdays are so close together, within a year. It was like watching my life go down the drain. A missing puzzle piece in my life. I just feel like I can’t handle it anymore. What’s the point of going on without having my brother. My only full sibling. I know I have to be strong but that’s all I’ve always been. When is it my turn to be weak and grieve? It has to be now because my heart can’t handle loosing him and not missing. I already preten too much. It’s my turn. I feel as if I’m a truly broken link., the real black sheep. Always my P.O.C in life and I guess he shall be in death. Always remembering the good times and then opening my eyes to realize that those area all over now. Like I said before, we’re not even a year apart and he passed at the age of 24. My birthday is coming up soon and I will be 24, I’m scared and worried and grieving. To beat the best birthday ever, it will also be the time we find out what happened, what caused his death. Such a wonderful birthday surprise. I’m grieving, just like a lot of the world, but I hurt differently, like everyone does. Here I am, a shattered hearted, broken puzzle piece.

Comments for Missing My Brother/ December 25, 2011

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May 13, 2013
Just like me
by: Abdul

You described exactly how i felt the day my brother died 6 years ago. Even though it was so long ago i still feel like that. Hopefully you're doing alot better now though!

Apr 14, 2012
Sister Loses Brother
by: Shandee

Shannon,

My name is Shandee, I am 21 years old and just two weeks ago I lost my 23 year old only sibling, my brother Davis. He died in a sudden plane crash and ever since then my world has been upside down.

I realize that you lost your brother in December, but I felt the need to reach out in relation, because no one can quite understand how it feels to be an only child after 21 years, and a younger sister at that.

My heart goes out to you and your family and my family grieves the tragic death of my brother Davis. I am not sure how to continue my day-to-day routine of this empty feeling, but it is good to know that I am not the only one going through this.

Never be afraid to break down and cry. I have been told to be strong through this process when all I want to do is breakdown and hold myself. Davis always could comfort me in situations like this, and he is not here to do it. Emotions are okay to face.

Never let anyone tell you how long you should be strong or how long you are supposed to grieve. This is not something we can just get over and sweep under the rug.

I don't know you Shannon, but i want to let you know that I love you. This is an experience we can never be prepared for, and there is no manual.

Much love,
Shandee

Jan 22, 2012
Wow 24
by: carol,seans mom

Shannon, My name is Carol. My son Sean died on November 15,2011. He was 24. His sisters are 22 and 15. My twenty two year old struggles and sounds a lot like you. I am so sorry for your loss. It is truly devastating. We are actually worse two months later,so unfortunately for you darker times are still coming. I have learned that I will not celebrate holidays and birthdays the same ever again. I celebrated my birthday late October and my three children and I always went out for breakfast. That is all I ever wanted. I felt that if the three most important people in my life were good,I was great. Less than a month later my world crumbled. My beautiful son was gone. My sunshine I called him. Hang in there everyone says, let yourself grieve. So my words to you are be good to your self, find a special way to celebrate your birthday. Take life slow for now and my thoughts are with you. One day at a time is how I live,sometimes ten minutes at a time. I wish you hope and peace on your birthday.

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