Missing My Brother/ December 25, 2011

by Shannon Michaels
(Dalton, GA)

I lost my brother on December 25, 2011. I haven’t lived around him in years but we were more than just brother and sister, we were more like twins. Our grandmother calls us Irish twins because our birthdays are so close together, within a year. It was like watching my life go down the drain. A missing puzzle piece in my life. I just feel like I can’t handle it anymore. What’s the point of going on without having my brother. My only full sibling. I know I have to be strong but that’s all I’ve always been. When is it my turn to be weak and grieve? It has to be now because my heart can’t handle loosing him and not missing. I already preten too much. It’s my turn. I feel as if I’m a truly broken link., the real black sheep. Always my P.O.C in life and I guess he shall be in death. Always remembering the good times and then opening my eyes to realize that those area all over now. Like I said before, we’re not even a year apart and he passed at the age of 24. My birthday is coming up soon and I will be 24, I’m scared and worried and grieving. To beat the best birthday ever, it will also be the time we find out what happened, what caused his death. Such a wonderful birthday surprise. I’m grieving, just like a lot of the world, but I hurt differently, like everyone does. Here I am, a shattered hearted, broken puzzle piece.