Missing my Cole who died so suddenly January 6, 2010
I am completely devastated over the sudden loss of my 5 1/2 year old kitty. I am so glad I found this page becuase I was feeling a little weird that I was hurting so bad... I would not hurt any more had I lost a human friend.
I was never a cat person so to say, I had grown up with dogs. But when I was living in an apartment that didn't allow dogs and I was needing that companionship of a pet I searched the paper for kittens. I came across rescue kittens and called.
It was so hard to choose because they were all so cute and they all had a sad story. I almost was ready to go with one kitten when I looked over and saw the most adorable little kitty curled up, I just had to check him out, and I am so glad I did. Cole was only 5 weeks old and instantly became my baby. He lived with my boyfriend (at the time) and I, and was very spoiled.
Well the boyfriend and I broke up and I was sooo upset and Cole was a great comfort to me, he helped mt through everything. I then went on to meet my husband and had a baby, and Cole was there for all of it, whenever I needed a hug he was there.
He was such a huge part of my life. He ended up being great with my now almost 3 year old and 6 month old. He came into their room every night when I put them down to bed. Obviously things get hectic with 2 kids, and I was so worried that Cole would be put to the back burner, and well of course he was, but every night we still cuddled.
He was in top health as far as I knew, up to date with all of his shots, an all indoor cat, etc. But yesterday, after having a normal morning, after my shower I went into the living room to find Cole, my beloved kitty, my best friend, unresponsive on the floor. It was like he was walking and just fell over. I lost all control of myself, i couldn't go near him to check him cause I just knew it was bad.
I called my dad, he came over and thought that he was indeed gone, and took him away to the vet in a towel. I am so heartbroken. I dont know when I will feel better. I am overwhelmed with loss, our house is so empty without him. Everywhere I look there he is, but now it's just in my head.
I know his whole routine, it is now so quiet without him (if that makes sense with 2 kids). I just want him back, it hurts so much. It is hard for people to understand, especially when I have two babies that I love more than anything to distract me, but it is just so hard. It is hard being in this house, i am so sad.
I can't believe that I had to see him die in my living room at only 5 years. I thought he was going to be alive while my kids were in high school. I am overwhelmed with what ifs... like what if he wasn't really dead right away and we jumped the gun determining that. And I regret not saying goodbye, cause at the time I was too upset to kiss him or touch him before he left. I wish so much I could have hugged him one last time, even if he was dead. I regret not going to the vet with my dad to say good bye. I hate not knowing what the hell he died from.
What happened to him? He wasn't sick, he was eating normal, acting normal. With 2 kids I find it really hard to think that he was poisoned, I have a very safe house, no plants, nothing. I'm guessing maybe it was his heart, but it is killing me not knowing. It is killing me that I couldn't prepare for this, it was just so sudden.
My heart is aching. It is hard for me to cook dinner cause he always came out then. Everything I do around this house reminds me of him. It is so empty. Thank God I have my kids, but really I just want my heart to feel better. I miss him already, I want him back.
Cole was with me through soooo much in just a short time, even when my mother was terminally ill but was saved by a heart transplant, that cat helped me through everything. And just like that he is no more. I sure hope this gets better, but it is so hard right now, and I'm glad I got to vent. Thanks to all who read this lengthy post and best wishes. I love you Cole.