Missing my Identical twin, The pain is unbearable.. I long to be released from it
I lost my best half of 51 years on August 26, 2011. Though I have managed to somehow survive past the second thanksgiving without her .. I find that I'm back at the beginning like it just happened yesterday. she felt faint in the store and when she went to urgent care she was diagnosed with stage 4 unknown primary cancer. I travel and was trying to make my way to her. Fortunately I was holding her hand when she left this world. I don't know why I didn't argue with everyone about giving her chemo.. I knew she couldn't survive it. I will have to live with that the rest of my miserable life. We lived in different parts of the country but one look and we knew everything.. I can't explain it but it was always agony saying goodbye. Of course we knew we would always see each other again. I
I was so proud of how well I was doing but now I realize the first. Thanksgiving we were all just going through the motions. . I found out her husband was having an affair so needless to say I have not been back up there. I believe she knew about it. She was so incredibly sad and I didn't know what to do for her. Our lives went in different directions but she was and has always been my one constant. Now I'm lost .. I don't know how I can take the pain of this loss. Every time I think I'm better I crash right back down to reality.
The sky is not as blue and nothing is even the same color without her. Please pray for me. I have lost everyone to cancer now. I only have half brothers and sisters who couldn't care less about me. Everyone I am connected to is gone.
Please pray that I can forgive God for taking her away and leaving me in this world alone. Why did he giver her to me as a twin only to steal her away.