Missing My Mom
About a month ago, I found my mother dead at her house. It was so scary, I couldn't believe that this happened to me. I mean she was only 34. Everyone tells me they know what I'm going through, but they don't because they don't know what it is like to find their mother dead. They really don't...I still think about her last words to me "I love you." Yup, those were her last words, and I'm so happy that they were, because now I know my mom really meant it, even though she never really showed it. I still remember what we did that day, it was the most amazing day I've had in years. But, I can't believe that this happened. I mean I really didn't think that I would be the one to find her. My mom died of a drug overdose. I keep thinking to myself...why? Why me? Why did this happen to me! Today I still can't believe that she's gone, she was the only person in my family that I was really close to. I lost my best friend, and I love her, and miss her everyday. Sometimes I really think that I could have prevented her death, but I think back and realize that there was nothing I could do. I wish she was still here, because she never got to see me accomplish something she didn't. So that's why I'm devoting my life to her, everything that I do will be for her, because I knew she would have done the same thing, if I was the one that died. I wish we could have spent more time together, because she will never see me graduate high school, and she will never see what I turn out to be. I think about her all the time, I really can't get her dead body image out of my head. I really want to, but I know that it will stay with me for the rest of my life. When people ask me what I want them to do...I say "I want my mom back." I know they can't make her come back, but I wish that she would come back. But, I know she's happy were shes at. I love you mom, no matter where your at, and I think and miss you everyday! I love you mom.