Missing my mom
I lost my sweet mom 22 days ago. I was at my beach house, trying to call her when my sister burst into my room. Her husband had called to say my dad had found my mother unconscious. I don't remember dressing. I remember making the drive to the hospital, thanking God shed been resuscitated. Feeling hopeful after speaking to the doctors. Then watching her convulsions and hearing that she had been without oxygen too long. 18 minutes. That's all it took to lose my mom. We made the decision to stop care, as was her wish. And she died peacefully minutes later.
And now we grieve. I wonder how my 86 year old dad can recover. His pain doubles my own. I look and search for answers on the Internet and they all say the same thing: give yourself over to grief. Well how do you not? How is there another way? The painin my heart is constant. It doesn't stop.
I miss my mom. There are no other words for it. I miss feeling pain free. I miss laughing, genuinely laughing. I miss hearing her voice on the phone. I miss what she will miss.