Missing my Mother Everyday

by Germell
(Harvey, LA)

My mom passed away peacefully on July 3, 2014, she was 62. Every since that day my life has not been the same; I feel so lost without her, I cry everyday. My mom was diagnosed with Pulmonary Fibrosis of the lungs 9 years ago; at the time the doctor's only gave her 6 months to 1 year to survive with this diease, but God blessed her and the family with 9 years! I am grateful for the time, but it still doesnt' stop the emptiness and the pain I have inside, sometimes it's hard to explain how I feel. My mother and I were so very close it feels as if a part of my soul has died also. I know, from what I've been told by other's whose lost a parent, that it's get better over time, but the way I feel, I don't think so. My every thought is her, there's not a minute that goes by that I don't think of her! I wish I could have one last minute with her to hold her tight and give her many kisses. God, will this pain ever leave me?

Comments for Missing my Mother Everyday

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Sep 12, 2014
pain that takes my breath away
by: Anonymous

Jane - I feel so much the way you do. My mom died on May 29, 2013 from a 3 year and 1 day battle with ovarian cancer. She kept up the fight til the very end. I helped my dad care for her the last 6 months of her life and it was the hardest and best job I have ever done and will ever do. So honored to have given her back such a small part of what she gave me. We were best friends and are best friends and I'm lost without her. She was such a beautiful and proud lady and she entrusted me with her care. Towards the end , she even had me put her makeup on and rub her weeping feet as I wept myself. I love her so much and days are about going through the motions until I see her again. Most days I pray for God to take me , the pain and emptiness have sucked the life out of me.

Aug 27, 2014
Germell
by: Anonymous

Germell I am so sorry for your loss. And believe me we all feel the same way. I just lost my mother on June 14, 2014 and it is hard. We were best friends and I fell like she will call me at any time. We used to talk just about every day. We lived close to each other and I think I just took her for granted. Like she would just be there and always would be there. I feel lost with out her. We used to do so many things together. We would go to the stores together she would say "ok lets go we don't have to buy anything lets just go." All the questions have run through my head Why did that have to happen. I was very very angry, I am still a little. But it has gotten better.
My mother had a fatal heart attack in front of us at a restaurant. We were all out to dinner and she got up to go to the restroom and had a heart attack on her way back to the table. I was the one that saw her first. It was so horrible.

Aug 14, 2014
Cry every day
by: Jane

Dear Anonymous, since my mom has died, I experience the same as you are. My Mom and I were best friends too and I feel this emptiness every day. And I have the same feeling, that I am the only one in the family who is missing my Mom like I do. They don´t even mangend her anymore. Maybe my griefing is wrong but I know, I can nothing do about it. I will miss my mom til I die. Well, I know that the death belongs to our life, but my heart feels different. My heart cannot accept the death of my mom. My hearts needs much more time. Oh anonymous, I wish you were here at my place, and we could help each other. Feel your self hugged and think, "in Germany lives somebody, who feels the same way. I do."I have got one question: "Do you feel also so tired and powerless?" May God comfort you and all here and all who a reading this.

Aug 12, 2014
Cry every day
by: Anonymous

I lost my mother in Sept. 2010. We were best of friends. It's still very painful for me. There is an emptiness at every family function. It's as if my soul still searches for her in the crowd. There are weddings and new babies. I became a grandmother twice since she's been gone. But everyone seems busy with their lives. It all goes on of course. Every one loved and missed her too but seems no one else feels her loss like I do.

Aug 12, 2014
Missing my Mother Everyday
by: Jane

Dear Germell, I am so sorry that your Mom has died. All your words you have written could be from me too, and my Mom has gone 15 months ago. We have lived together the same place and now I am feeling so lost and lonesome too. Dear Germell, cry, cry as much as you can. Don´t ask me how oftenI cried and shouted real loud, "Mom, please come back to me. I need you so much. And I miss you so, because I love you. I will always love you." In my heart, I am still feeling the same. My mom was my best friend. Don´t ask me how often I am thinking that my Mom would come back just for one hour, just do talk important things, to ask her, how she feels now, if she can forgive me my bad words, to tell her how much I love her and we could just hold us in our arms again. This finality (conclusiveness) is making me sick and powerless. I live just one day after the other. I stopped thinking what´s going to be tomorrow, because all my power has gone. I don´t realy care anymore. Maybe that´s not good. I don´t know. It just came by it´s self.I said to God, now do with me what ever you want. I am finish. I am powerless. So I don´t care anymore. So I just take it like it comes. I talk to my mom every day and I am sure she can hear me. She gave me signs, that she is still on my side. But I want her with her body, with a healthy body, she would come back home. But this will never happen. Germell, I wish, I could just hold you in my arms and let you cry. Try to pray or to get real quiet inside your heart, breath deep in and than out and feel inside your heart. She is there. She is still taking care of you. But different. Your love will never die. I´ll pray for you. Feel your self hugged from Germany. We are all here together a big family. Sometimes I just thru a kiss in the air and say, "Mom, this one is just for you. I still love you so much."

Aug 12, 2014
Missing my Mother Everyday
by: Doreen UK

Germell I am so sorry for your loss of your Mom. I am happy that she was blessed with 9 more years to be with you all as a Mom.
The pain of grief is so severe like nothing we have ever experienced before that we do feel as if it will last forever. This is how I felt and everyone feels who has lost a loved one. I felt I would be this way forever. Your whole world is turned upside down. The best way forward is by TAKING ONE DAY AT A TIME. You will then look back and see how the healing is taking place in you and you feel different. When I lost my husband to cancer 2yrs. ago I felt the same way and I could not function at all for 6 months. I took one day at a time and could do nothing but watch TV for 6 months. I nurtured myself back into life. Do what feels right for you. Build yourself up each day by doing good things for yourself each day till you feel stronger and more able to cope with life on a daily basis. 2yrs. on I still think of my husband and wonder about life and how lonely it is, despite doing things each day and having people in my life. It is the structure of how we lived that has gone and we are having to restructure our lives in a different way. My mother died 11yrs. ago and it has taken me 9yrs. to heal from this loss. It will be different for everyone of us. When I felt like you do now I remember my sister saying to me that it does get better. It doesn't make sense at the time because it hurts too much but I am happy for those comforting words. It does get better in the days ahead meaning you don't hurt so much, but you will have many days in between when you cry or feel your loss. That will heal in time.

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