Missing My True Love Stan


(Ma.)

I recently lost my husband in March 2013....he passed in his sleep. I wanted to die that day too! Some days I feel so overwhelmed and depressed that I just don't care anymore. I have gone through more emotions these past few months than I have my whole life! We have three beautiful children...whom are my world and may be selfish to say... but...it is so hard some days to want to go on. I don't want to be mad at God...but I am...and I feel guilty. I will never understand why God took him away from me. I still haven't accepted that he is gone. He was my rock...my true love...my soulmate. I may seem ok on the outside...but I am dying on the inside. I used to love life and was such a happy person...but I will never be the same. I am trying...but I need help....

Comments for Missing My True Love Stan

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Sep 01, 2013
I wish I could take it away !
by: ~~LYNNE~~

I too, lost my Wonderful gorgeous Hubby on July 2 of this year...dont know what to say except dont quit......The pain I have experienced is one that I NEVER want to again, it feels as if my head will pop right off and my guts are being pulled right out through my skin...as if my heart will pop right out of my chest....and none of the above, What you are feeling is normal im told, I have always loved belonging to clubs, but, I HATE belonging to this one.....I dont want to and yet my membership was paid for me....argh!!!!
eep your head up(even when it seems like your hanging it low) and dont quit...find a someone to confide in that will never look at you like you have 3 heads...it helps...your in my prayers as is all on this site....

Sep 01, 2013
Missing your true love
by: Trish

I too, lost my true love in March of this year. I know all too well how you feel. It is hard to go on without him. I also question why God would do this. So, I guess what I am saying is that its normal for us to feel this way. Grief is a process, good days bad days. Some days you wont want to get up, but then another day comes and you do get up.
My best advice (and I am certainly no expert) is to try and stay busy and surround yourself with good friends and family. Pamper yourself whenever you can. Make sure to eat right and exercise. Even if its just a walk around the block, get outside and breathe fresh air.
Pay attention to things, smells, sounds, sights. Your true love is always with you in spirit. I firmly believe their spirits are with us and they still love us. Talk out loud to him (if you have not already). Tell him you love him and miss him. I know some of that may sound a little crazy but it truly does help.
I pray you find healing and peace of heart.

Aug 31, 2013
Missing My True Love Stan
by: Doreen U.K.

Ma I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved husband so suddenly. It has only been 5 months and you may feel this way for months. I lost my husband of 44yrs. Almost 16 months ago to terminal cancer. First I was numb and frozen with grief. It took me some time to thaw out and I thought I would fall apart.
I too was angry with God. I didn't want to be. But I was. I prayed for a Healing. The day my husband was anointed for healing was the day he died. I was so broken and in shock. I got so busy with the funeral details and all the administrations with Pensions etc. My grief was on hold. Weeks later I took to the couch and bathed my wounds with TV. I stayed there for months until I felt stronger and able to get up. My body felt as if I was beaten up and all bruised. I cried off and on. I then realised this is raw grief. I took one day at a time and this has helped. It is so easy to look at the mountain ahead of us and just see years of being on our own. something we don't want. Nearly all of us want to die. We don't want to go on another day. Yet we are powerless to do anything but go on. I then started taking one or two jobs a day. I scaled back when I couldn't do this. I didn't have to work to a timetable. But doing it this way. I got through months. I am feeling healing take place. I believe in God and know I will see my husband again. This gives me HOPE to go on each day. THIS IS MY FOCUS. It does help me move on each day. My husband died on a Saturday, late into Sunday morning when I remember us all sitting around trying to process what had just happened. Today is Saturday and I always have hang ups on this day. My memories work overtime on Saturdays. Friday was the day he was buried. So this takes care of the weekend. I don't like weekends at all and wonder when this will change. It does feel unreal at times. It feels as if there has been an explosion. I have woken up and my world has changed. I believe that God gives us shock absorbers so we don't feel the shock of our loss all at once otherwise it would destroy us. Healing is such a slow process. It becomes tedious. I FOCUS on HEAVEN. God. And ETERNITY. And this gets me through each day. THIS HOPE OF ETERNAL LIFE TO COME. May God come close to you and Comfort you in your sorrow and bring you Peace, and HOPE. In time you will start to feel HEALING from your grief. Take only one day at a time. Make it count. But don't overstretch yourself. We have to nurture ourselves back into life. so do something good for yourself each day. Even if it is to buy fresh flowers to brighten your room. Keep it up and your world will start to become brighter and give you a reason to go on in life.

Aug 30, 2013
Missing my true love Stan
by: silver

I understand how you feel somewhat.I was blessed with 33 yr with my soul mate.I can't imagine how it would have been to have him leave sooner.It was so terribly hard when it did happen.I have no magic words to make it better.I can only tell you that it does get easier,although if you had told me that the first year I'm not sure I would have believed you.The triggers still show up and the tears still fall sometimes but not everyday and not as hard.You have children that,believe it or not, will help you to go on.I was 61 and my children were grown and gone.The feelings are the same though.You feel lost. You feel alone.The one who shared your day,night,troubles,happy times,and other things is gone.I woke up one day and it hit me:He really isn't coming back.That was the hardest day.I am beginning to live again.I will always miss him but I believe I will see him again one day when my turn comes to go home.GOD send you strength and peace.I keep us all in my prayers.

Aug 30, 2013
Losing Stan
by: Jolynn

I am so sorry you lost the love of your life...you must be feeling lonely. I lost my 26 yrs. old son who was a 1st Lt in the Marines about 10 months ago. I can say they the fist year is fraught with emotions and actually seems to get worse as the months go by and as you experience your "1sts" but then after about month 9 you find a little bit more peace and are finally able to process the unbelievable, the fact that he is never coming home. I see it as each day is another day getting closer to seeing him rather than another day without him. (drink half empty or full type of thinking I guess). Everyone grieves differently and has there own time table but it does seem to get less achingly painful. Please carry on. People love you and need you. Somehow you will get thru this terrible blow. Life can send us terrible blows and I question God as well. The comments people make used to make me angry(he's in a better place) no, here with me is a better place), (it was his time to go),I could go on but I'll spare you.
I am sorry you lost your love and friend and soul mate.
Jolynn

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