Missing you On your Birthday!

by Lesley Angelica Gabasa
(Pasig City, Philippines)

I lost my mom almost 6 years ago this coming september 24 to be exact. I still remember vividly the pain we have gone through when we have lost her. I remember this happen after our niece's birthday party, she went to sleep after she kid around with my father of how would my father be, without her anymore, then just a few minutes as she close her eyes my dad notice that she has different sound of breathing. When she was trying to wake by my father she won't open her eyes anymore. My father panic and called me, I run quickly to my aunt's house just a few blocks from us to ask help, we run down towards our house got a taxi rush my mom to hospital, But it was too late. Tears and our hearts are still in denial when the doctor DOA. And today is her birthday we reminisce of how she had care for us and love us as we love her still, missing her still.

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Jul 30, 2012
I didn't expect my mother to die either!
by: Ilana

I lost my mother in 2010 from ovarian cancer. She was only 68. All of a sudden she started getting sick. She was a nurse so she thought it was the flu. It wasn't. She finally admitted herself to the hospital after she got dehydrated. By then it was discovered she had a golf size ball tumor and one liter of fluid in her belly. Five months later after three chemos, we lost her. People keep telling me how grateful I should be that it happened so fast. I wish it didn't because there were so many things I wanted to say to her that I was cheated out of saying to her. Her birthday is coming up and I'm wrestling with the decision of whether or not to fly up north (I live in the south) to her gravesite. I wish I could say it will get better with time. It has been two years for me since my mother's death and I'm still coping with it. Have you tried grief counseling? I see a grief counselor and it has helped me a great deal. I know exactly how you feel so if you need someone to talk to please email me at mom2jared@netzero.com.

Jul 29, 2012
Missing you on your Birthday!
by: Doreen U.K.

Lesley I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. It is a very hard place to be even though for you it has been 6 years ago and you haven't moved forward much. Perhaps you are all stuck in grief and would benefit from the support of a grief counsellor. Grief is hard to go through and come to terms with. Because as you say you are all still in DENIAL this works against you. My husband had cancer for over 3 years and his cancer was terminal. When he died 11 weeks ago I WAS IN DENIAL. I did not expect him to die. I was expecting a miracle. I had to face reality. It is very hard. The pain of grief is like nothing else we will ever feel so painfull to bear. You all need help and support. Seek this and you will find yourself in a much better place emotionally and mentally in trying to cope with a death. I hope the days ahead will be easier for you now you have reached out for help on this website and also what you can do by finding a grief counsellor. You are not ALONE.

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