Missing You

by Terri
(Texas)

I have recently started to grieve over the loss of my daughter...but I will not let anyone know this. It is between me and her...and she will be there to comfort me, when I join her. I know that my only comfort is that she is there...watching over all of us, sending a blessing our way when she can, arguing our case before God--because she knows that we are not perfect, but that we do mean the right thing, and always try to follow through with that. My life, while it is not over, is still just hanging on...I just miss her so. After one year, past her death, I can only say that I don't cry everyday...I don't hide tears at a commercial that reminds me of her, I don't cry when thinking that she is gone--but love to remember her--her laugh, her smell, her sense of humor, her silly giggle, the way that she tried to make others happy. Oh her smile...I have seen it other places...other faces, and it brings me to tears on the inside, but I smile and think that she, if only for a moment, found a way to see me through that person, and to show me that she misses me too, with something as simple as a smile. I think the thing that I miss the most is "Tiger Tunes." She knows what I mean...g'Night by precious daughter...sleep well, until we meet again. Love Mom

Comments for Missing You

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Feb 11, 2013
To Aaron's Mom
by: Terri

I’m so sorry for your recent loss of your Sweet Boy. Oh, how I know how you are feeling at this time, and although it is nice to know others feel as we do, nothing can be said or done to replace this feeling you are having. It is a process…and it is a rough process as well. It was so nice to hear your comments of the legacy that he left. But, alas, I do have to disagree with you on something. I believe your defender is there…and he is watching over you even more intently now. Before, he had other worldly things to occupy his time, but now…he has but time, to watch and protect you and your interests. I have come to realize that with my daughter, not physically being here at this time, is more here now more than ever before. I feel her with me all of the time. Sometimes, I can even smell her. I see her laughter in others, and her smile. And it is not sorrow that I feel any longer; although, I do have moments of just wishing to hold her. No, it is now with a comfort that I feel her presence with me. She watches over me, guides me, and always has her hand on my shoulder, as I can feel her comfort. Oh believe me; I did not always feel her, because, I was so angry at her leaving this worldly place. But, once I realized that she was in a better place than I could even fathom, then I had the courage to let her go. As soon as I did that, she came back, to be with me, all of the time. Now, we talk on a regular basis…and I know that she is here. I know that I will always have the one thing about her that no-one else can claim stake too, and that is—I AM her mother. I will always be her mother, and what a joy that gives me. I was blessed with her, and now she continues to bless me from wherever she is…
So, hang in there Aaron’s mom…you are his mother, and hopefully that will come to bring you peace soon.

Feb 06, 2013
Terri
by: Sweet boy's mama

Terri.....I get up every morning and off and on during the day I come to this site. It has helped to obviously know that everyone out there misses their precious sweet children just like I miss my sweet Aaron, but the pain will be everlasting till I take my last breath. I lost my son two days after this past Thanksgiving. We had such a good one! He had the most infectious laugh and when he laughed, he shook all over. Everyone loved him and he didn't have one enemy. I have said for his 32 years, he left a wonderful legacy and had so many goals for his life. His 33rd birthday was January of this year. There are no words for comfort, there is nothing but just the emptiness of knowing that my protector and defender is not here. I turn around sometimes and I'm still in disbelief. I have a younger son who is going to be a first time father in June. I'm trying very hard to be excited about my granddaughter, but I think about Aaron knowing he will never get to be a part of his niece's life and knowing he would have spoiled her to the enth degree as he could not have children of his own. I am so sorry about your precious girl and it doesn't matter how long forever is, but that we will never get over this and we will never quit loving our children. I will send loving thoughts to you. Please take care.

Aug 28, 2012
Lidia's mom, Jenny
by: Terri

I know just what you mean. My daughter, Martina, was 29 years old at the time of her death, June 4th, a year + ago now. The first year was the hardest so far, but seeing her beautiful son, who is only 11 years old, go through this, that is too hard. I'm old enough to understand it, but he is not. He is so angry and there is nothing I can do to help him. Oh, I do all the things I should, comfort him...tell him all about his mother, try to be there for him, when his father will allow. That's even harder! WHEN his father will allow. I can't even be in my grandsons life the way that I want to be. I just get so frustrated at that. That makes it 100 times worse. But Jenny, a loss of an adult child is so hard to understand. When she wasn't even sick before. You see, she caught a "bacteria" so say the doctors that went to her heart and killed the tissue. Oh they tried to save her, but it was not meant to be. So, now we live on. Hang in there...I still have frustrations. Bless you!

Aug 27, 2012
Lidia mom
by: Jenny

Hi Terri

Can't believe it would happen to me.
Lost my best friend love of my life my sweet daughter on Halloween 2 years ago so young age of 29. Terri your message brought tears again. Life will never be the same. Faith and believing is what keeps me going.I believe there is the other side after death. Where we will meet our loved ones again. I believe they are looking after us. I miss her so dearly. They are so many regrets and IF's
but we can't control what happens to us and when.
I just want to say to every parent that is going through this loss we need to continue and keep the good memories and never let go. If you have any other child at home spent precious time and one important thing LISTEN to them. Life is so short.

God Bless you All !!!

Jenny



Aug 25, 2012
To Lori's mom, Carol
by: Terri

Birthdays are the worst! Bless you making it through that. A birthday just reminds me that she is not here anymore, and what an amazing lady she had become. I pray for you in this time of loss for your child, Lori, as well. Hang in there. We are here for you! Do something special for yourself, in her memory. That only you know that you are doing. That's how I made it through the last one of my daughter's. I took a picture of her to the lake, and just told her all the things that had happened, since she's not physically here. And then just asked her to watch over all of us for the next year, but I would be back to tell her all the things from this year, or I would see her one of the two! Carol, prayers are being sent your way during this time. Hang in there...talk to us, let us know that you're ok. With warmest regards, Terri

Aug 25, 2012
Thank you
by: Terri

Dearest Malgosia, thank you very much for your kind words. I understand that I'm not the only parent that has ever lost a child and it is good to know that there are others willing to read/listen to my thoughts on my loss. I think at this time, 14 months after her death, I'm progressing through the loss, and I've really hit the grieving part. I see her everywhere. Her smile, her eyes, her laugh, and her very generous nature. I keep trying to tell myself that it is her way of reminding me that she is with me, no matter in body or not, but in spirit. I will join her again someday and that will be a great reunion! But till then, living daily with these reminders of her, is hard for me at this time. I'm sure that it will get easier eventually, but now... Well, it's not so easy. Thank you very much for your thoughts and your post and the prayers!

Aug 24, 2012
I am so sorry for You
by: Malgosia

Dear Terry, I am so sorry for Your loss. I know how you feel, I wish I could take the pain away from all of us. Dear one, I too just go trough the motions every day, I died seven weeks ago, when I got the call about my sons dead. You are not alone in your grief, I grief for you, your baby and all moms, who lost the child like we did. Who ever knew, that pain like that existed.
I just join compassionate friends, it is support group for moms like us. Nothing will ease the pain, but it is good to talk about your child to someone who understand . This side is grate, because you can spend as much time as you need to write about your pain, and God knows-we need to talk about our wonderful kids, but meeting face to face with moms like us is helpful to. Terry I will keep you in my preyers, we have to live till time comes when we join our children.

Aug 21, 2012
Lori's mom
by: Carol

I am so sorry for your loss. My beautiful daughter has been gone 2 years on May 8. Her birthday is Friday. It is still so hard, but somehow we keep going on. I know she is somewhere looking out for us. She was always good at than. My husband and I try to do something she enjoyed on her birthday. It makes the day a little easier. Be kind to yourself.

Aug 15, 2012
Replies
by: Terri

Thank you dear annoymous. I know what you mean as well. I see her everywhere, and every time I do, I just want to cry...but smile, thinking that is a memory I have from her, and I am so blessed to have such precious memories of her.
Lynne, I'm so sorry for your recent loss. It is so hard to explain how a parent feels when loosing a child. It's like it is just not right. They should not go first. I thought for the first six months what I could have done differently as her mother to have made her life better. Then I realized, nothing. She and I had a wonderful relationship...even making through some 'rocky' moments in teenage year. But I realized not what I could have done, but man...what it was to me to be her mother. The times that we shared together, the wonderful things in our life that made us who we were...are. I realized in that moment, it wa just as it should be. But I would rather it had been her here missing me...but that was selfish on my part. Just to have known her, made me better as a person. Best of luck to you, and we understand your loss...blessings in your search for peace.

Aug 14, 2012
Touched my heart
by: Lynne (Texas)

Your posting touched me deeply. I lost my daughter 6 months ago and am still trying to get through my days. I wish you comfort and the ongoing ability to feel your daughter's love.

Love and prayers

Aug 14, 2012
Terri
by: Anonymous

Your posting about your daughter is so familiar to me. My Son has been gone for 3 years and I still have the same feelings that you do. It seems to me that the more time passes the more evident the absence becomes. A void that can not be filled but it barks daily for me to pay attention. I wish you some peace on your journey. The little snipets of happy memories or a glimpse of days gone by that were not so painful. You are not alone.

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