Mom died, four months later Dad died
Mom died of lung cancer Oct 18, 2013. My Mom never smoked, ate unhealthy, or drank. She was 76, but we thought she would live to be 100, she was 76. When she died, it was the hardest day of my life. My Dad also suffered from MDS, a blood disorder. Dad went in for a blood transfusion, which he had done in the past. He was weak and in pain, he had severe back pain and we thought his weakness was due to lack of blood. However, doctors did cscan and found cancer in his lung and upper spine. The tumor also fractured his vertebrae, causing him the intense pain. My father grew very weak in the hospital and passed Feb. 21, 2014.
I feel like I'm in a daze. I cry all the time and feel alone, though I have a wonderful husband and great friends. I feel no hope, I feel anger and I feel my insides have been ripped out of me. I have tuned into a crying, but very cold person. I feel I am losing compassion to people. I don't like what I have become. I have become distant to my friends, but talk to my family. I feel no joy, i dont smile anymore and cant remember when i actually laughed. I don't know if I need therapy or if this is normal. Honestly, I don't care about myself anymore. I feel no hope. How long will I feel this way, do I need help? Is this part of grieving??? I'm lost without them.