Mom died suddenly of cerebral aneurysm

by Michael
(London)

Mom and our Persian cat Duster, in the same year mom passed.

Mom and our Persian cat Duster, in the same year mom passed.

My mom died at 2:02 am, 11 April 2012. She was 49 years old, and I am 22.

My stepfather is a long-haul truck driver, and my mom would drive him to the yard really early in the morning, then come home and nap for a bit longer. I happened to be home because exams were just about to start and I wanted to visit my folks before I had to start studying non-stop for exams. My younger sister came home for lunch and noticed mom wasn't awake from her morning nap yet and went to wake her, but couldn't. She came and found me and told me that mom wouldn't wake up. I didn't think much of it, thinking that mom had probably shewed her away because she was still tired. I went to my mom's room any way though, just to check up. I found my mom breathing strangely, and drooling, and I could smell urine. I tried to wake her, but she was unconscious. I called an ambulance and she was taken to the hospital, then transferred to a larger hospital in the nearest big city. She was diagnosed with having a large brain aneurysm, and all day the surgeons and nurses fought to try to get my mom to respond, they did surgery to drain the blood from her skull, they gave her medicine cocktails to try to bring her out of the coma she was in, but to no avail. After they drained her ventricals to reduce the pressure on her brain, she began to die. The last moments I spent with mom, her heart rate was declining and she was unconscious.

It was all so sudden. We never knew she had an aneurysm, she didn't know. Nothing was known until it ruptured. I'm back at school now, and a lot of the time I keep it at the back of my mind, or forget about it. But then I remember and it hits me. I feel sick right down to the core about it, and I feel disturbed. It's hard to comprehend that she doesn't exist anymore, and I feel like I'm barely an adult, still mostly a kid. I want my mom. And almost as much as I want my mom back, I want someone or something to blame. I'm so angry, and have nowhere to direct it. I'm angry for her, because she was too young to die, I'm angry for my stepdad, who loved my mom passionately and wanted to spend his life with her, for my sister who's going to grow up without a mom, and for myself. I miss her so bad and I hope so much that she was unconscious during the entire ordeal and felt no pain or fear.

Comments for Mom died suddenly of cerebral aneurysm

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Apr 21, 2014
My Father
by: Andrea

I just lost my father due to an aneurysm a week ago. I had woken up and my stepmom was asking him to take the trash out when he had turned gray and couldn't move. We took him to the hospital where he was pronounced brain dead. It's weird and maybe it's a product of my grief but I just can't help but be fixated on how smart he was. He was getting a masters in Psychology and was going to get his practicum. I lived with him all of my life and I'm only twenty. I just feel this empty void. This numbness that has overtaken my body. I mean I know rationally he's not coming back but I still think that he's going to come home from work and do his homework and I'm just gonna be bugging him to use the computer. I just have this overwhelming sadness inside of me.

Apr 28, 2013
X
by: Laura

Hi Michael,
I typed this situation I'm also going through into goggle to see how other people get through it, don't worry every day without a doubt you will get up and think about your mom thats how it goes, every single day you may mention her in a conversation or something someone does remind you of her but you have to smile and think how good of a mother she was.
3 years ago I lost my mom to a brain hemorrhage when I was 15, same situation she wasn't up from her nap I couldn't wake her, breathing was absent,her skin was so pale. Called the emergency services and she was pronounced dead? From that day I still wonder why it would happen? But I've came a long way and I know she's always watching me no matter what. Keep your head up Michael and take care of your sister x

Feb 18, 2013
life aint fair
by: Anonymous

my mother 12 days ago passed away from a brain aneurism. she was so healthy never drank or smoked and just lived everyday to the fullest.i loved and miss my mom so much.i feel so overwhelmed i just dont know what to do. i take care of my 21 year old sister with a traumatic brain injury. the day after my moms passing our house was sold on and online auction. i dont have much supportive family my dad split when i was 12 and just came around when this happened/ just dont know what to do. any advice or experience ppl have gone through might help> i miss her so much and just dont want to or scared to think of whats gonna come in the future.just not fair.

Feb 02, 2013
Stay Strong
by: JC

Dear Michael,
My mother passed away from a serious brain aneurysm three and a half years ago when I was 15 years old, and her birthday was just the other day. It was completely unexpected, and right when we got to the hospital, the doctor told us there was nothing that could be done to save her life because the bleeding was so intense in her brain. I am 19 now, and not a day goes by without thinking about her and missing her. I just want you to know that you are not alone, and that my heart aches for you. Something that helped me vent my anger was through writing. Nobody could ever understand the type of pain you are feeling, so writing those emotions down can be a healthy way to slowly heal. Try to write down all the memories you have of your mother, so that when time passes by, you will always have those written down and you won't forget. Cherish the years you had with your mother and know that her life lives on through you. Stay strong and never give up. I'm not going to sit here and say that everything is going to be perfect in the future, but for me, I have grown tremendously from this experience, and although it definitely hasn't been the easiest three years, I've learned to empathize with others who are struggling, and you too, can be comfort to others who are experiencing similar situations. Sending lots of love and prayers your way. Your mother would be very proud of you.

May 10, 2012
My mom also died of a cerebral hemmorage three weeks ago.
by: Anonymous

I wanted to tell you that I feel your pain completely. My mom died of a cerebral hemmorage due to high levels of phentermine in her system. Her sister gave her the medication for "energy" and she had three times the legal limit based on coroners report. I know what you mean about it hits you and you feel sick. You're not alone man...I'm 32 and totally lost without my mother. I hope your pain eases up over time.

Apr 27, 2012
Your Mom
by: Davena - USA

Michael,

My mother died 4/12/12 of cardiac arrest. My mother was 81. But, she had 3 different operations for aortic aneurysms since 2007. The last operation was on 3/5/12. She went thru surgery great and we thought she was going to bounce right back like she did the other 2 times. She was a tough old bird. lol, but God had different plans this time and decided she had suffered enough on this cruel earth. 2 weeks after surgery her heart went into Afib and it's easy to develop a clot in Afib. And sure enough, she did even though the Drs had done every thing they could to prevent it.

I'm so sorry you lost your mom at a young age. I was blessed to have my mother for 50 years and she taught me so many things. Nothing or no one can ever take the place of your mom. But just know that your mother loved you more than her own life. I know that because I am a mother too.
And your mother may have left you early in your life but I believe she left you with all you will need to survive. When you feel weak, look to God and remember how much she loved you and you'll find the strength to keep going.

You will be in my prayers in the days to come.

Apr 23, 2012
Mum passed away and in same situation
by: Natasha

Hi Michael,
My mum, who I was extremely close to, passed away on march 23rd at 7:17am from the same thing. I was chatting with her earlier that day and my phone died. Somewhere between 5pm and 9pm her neighbors found her outside of her apartment barely breathing. Her boyfriend at the time finally got ahold of me when I got home and I rushed to the hospital. When I seen her she was in a coma and on breathing and life support. The doctors were going to send her to a large hospital to do surgery but her CT scans said it was already bleeding too much.
She was with my step dad for 22 years and I am in contact with him but not really close. I'm 26 and an only child. My mum was my best friend, my cheerleader in life.. I was her everything and she was mine. In the last couple years we had talked about exciting stuff like having children and me getting engaged and she was so excited. I am now stuck with the feeling on anger, loneliness and feeling like I don't want to go on with my life without her. I don't want to tell anyone that and I tried counselling because about 3.5 years ago I was engaged and my fiancé passed away from acute myeloid leukemia.
How are you feeling? Do you feel the same way? I'm not sure what to do.... I hope you, your sister, stepdad are doing ok.

Apr 22, 2012
Overwhelmed grief
by: Helen

Michael please let a stranger give you a bit of comfort and cry with you in your sad and overwhelming Grief. My father died suddenly and unexpectedly, 2 1/2 months ago, so I know some of the feelings which are experiencing.
The shock of your mother dying so suddenly and unexpectedly can smoother you with all sorts of emotions, first came the what ifs, and why's then comes the anger at the loss of a loved one.
No one or nothing can take these feelings away, they are a natural process of trying to come to terms with such a sudden loss. I hope you can express your feelings to some. Members of your family, don't hold them in too much as your heart will ache all the more.
Come back here and share some of your grief with like minded people who can understand and support you through this grueling and emotionally roller coaster ride of grief. May you find the arms of a loved one who can share the loss of your mother with you.

Apr 22, 2012
Have Faith
by: Rose L

Sweet Heart,
I understand your desire to know your mom felt no pain. I lost my daughter a year ago. She was 34. She left behind 3 babies and a husband. It was very sudden. I really just wanted to know she felt no pain or fear. As her mom I wanted to be there and I was just not in the room..to think I was just feet away as she was dying..that's what makes me so angry..like you, I want to direct my anger somewhere. It isn't God's fault-He didn't knick my daughter's artery during a routine procedure..
Prayer and faith have been my biggest comfort. God will provide strength for you if you ask Him. He often lifts me up, when I can't move forward on my own.

Blessings-Rose L

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