Mom I Miss You So Much

by Cindy
(Boca Raton, Florida USA)

My mother passed away this past July 6th, 2012. She was my best friend and my everything. She was a beautiful and very strong woman. She was diagnosed with cancer two years ago following a heart attack. Prior to that my mother NEVER had any health problems. At 75 years of age, she mowed her own lawn, maintained the pool, cleaned her house, cooked, worked full time and was very active - she certainly put me to shame... She drove a little sports car. When she visited me, she'd begin picking up around my house, which I didn't mind. She looked years younger than her age. We were always mistaken for sisters. She lived a clean lifestyle - ate well, did not drink, was physically fit and loved to shop.

She fought the cancer tooth and nail. She went through rounds of chemo that robbed so much of her energy. But she was a trouper. Although she responded well to chemo, the cancer spread to her brain. (Her mother died of brain cancer at the age of 42 - my mom was her youngest child and was only 4 years old.) Radiation was next. She toughed that out too. Funny thing is... the cancer did not take her life. The day she arrived for a radiation treatment in the hospital, while my brother was parking the car, she blacked out and fell while walking in the hall. The doctors said she had a stroke and she immediately received treatment. We thought she was at the right place at the right time. Within 3 hours, she was speaking to us and was just a little wobbly on her feet. The hospital admitted her to ICU so that they could keep an eye on her. She was in good spirits and said she just wanted to go home.

She was transferred from ICU within a few days. Slowly she began speaking less. By the time the hospital released her, she was no longer speaking, just nodding her head. Long story short... We took her home and then within days, back to another hospital closer to her home where she remained in ICU for over a week and died.

I miss her so much. We spoke on the phone every day. She lived right around the corner. I shared every detail of my life with her... my kid's problems, husband problems, job problems, etc. We did everything together. Part of me has died inside. She is on my mind every day. When my father passed away unexpectedly of a heart attack in 1994, within days he came to me in a very vivid dream and told me he was alright. I am still waiting for my mother to come to me in a dream, but she hasn't. I was raised in a devout Catholic family. Went to Catholic school and to church every Sunday. I want so bad to know that my mom is OK - that she is with her parents, her siblings and my father. My sister and I now say that we're orphans. I never thought I'd be an orphan. I always thought my parents would be around for a very long time. Mom if you by any chance read this, please know that I didn't tell you very often but I love you very much and miss you more than you know, and can't wait to see you again. Rest in peace Mama.

Comments for Mom I Miss You So Much

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Jan 30, 2013
My story is very similiar
by: Anonymous

I lost my Mom to stage 4 pancreatic cancer Sept 10,2012. It had spread to her brain, and she also had a stroke. She started feeling bad in July, and by the end of Aug she was diagnosed. She was very much like your Mom, always healthy, full of life, energy. Her Mom is about to turn 98. She was my whole world, and my Dad and I are having a pretty tough time. I so feel your pain, and hope you feel better soon. I was at her side and was able to tell her how much I loved and appreciated her. :)

Sep 20, 2012
My deepest condolences to you and your family
by: Anonymous

I also lost my Mom last May 30 2012. She died at the age of 81 due to heart enlargement that she was already suffering for a few years but it become only severe lat 2011-2012. I bring her to the hospital due to stroke coming from her heart. It looks that she will not die yet during that moment because I believe that I had brought her on time. But 2:30 am of may 30, her blood pressure get lower and lower and she expired. I realized that if it's time for us to leave whether we like it or not we cannot resist it. We have our schedules on earth and we do not own our lives. God lend us our Parents to let us grow a better person for his glory. When he think that we are already done, He will take back our parents and He will take over us to learn how to walk with Him and finished our task here on Earth. You are still lucky that you still have company in life. I am the only child and I am alone. I was not able to raise a successful family of my own and if not of God maybe I may say I lost everything. Life is temporary here on earth. Let us get ready for the eternal. cheer-up your mother is already very happy with her creator. You cannot compare the highest form of living she had with the Lord as to here on earth which is a battle field.

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