mom of two grown

(alpena michigan)

I was a single mother trying to raise 2 kids and had a large home to care for. I needed help. I petitioned God to please send me a husband- trusted and believed that He would do so. I found a man whom said he believed the things I did and was also looking for a good wife. I believed him, married him and gave him my whole heart.

He turned out to be a liAr. He was very much into child pornograpy- denied it till the end. He would take out his anger on me and manhandle me if the urge hit him. I would try and try to keep hope and believe him- he promised me to be a good husband. We would go to bible study once a week and church- but on the side i found he was always into the pornography. He killed our marriage last march finally by picking a fight w/me and throwing me around again. I was so sad and confused.

I later found out what i had feared the most; he was watching child pornography again. There was no doubt about it this time. He never said sorry or confessed to anything. I packed his bags (i could not allow this) and he just left. He murdered our marriage. That's what it feels like. I was very cheated and lied to. Now i am still going through major depression at the unjust of it. He is continuing on as if it never happened- no consequence. He divorced me quietly (i made him, it blood on his hands) and now has a new girlfriend that looks like he never missed a beat. It sickens me.

Comments for mom of two grown

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Jan 17, 2011
by: Anonymous

oh ya, i also have a business and a farm that i put his name on when we married and had to clear all that up before i called the police. he tells everyone he just nobly walked away from everything when in reality he ran for his life.

Jan 17, 2011
i did call police
by: Anonymous

i did turn him in. i was sickened when i found the links on my business computer. but i did not turn him in right away for many reasons- #1 was i did not want to do it out of revenge or hate. in the beginning when I kicked him out, i still talked to him, trying to make him confess and take responsibility. It finally ended when he just didnt want to hear me anymore and blocked my calls and emails. I threatened to tell his mother and the police. I originally only told his mother- was actually worried that if he went to jail he would never come back to God, and be bitter and angry. then 9 months goes by w/ no communication until he contacted me to ask me to payoff a joint loan we have. i tried to reply that i could not and at least half was his responsibility. (i have been paying it all along ) i tried to email him and he already blocked my way. I was so mad that he was so stupid- i went on facebook to tell him to unblock his email. Thats when i saw the woman- much younger- probably has kids. never missed a beat, he was holding her very intimately. reminds me of the devil. so i waited a week or so to contemplate- called the police and turned my computer in. My son is a programmer and says all the stuff is off of it. the only trace are words to the disks he loaded. (sick crap!) but like the other woman that wrote me- im just so pissed off! I did the right thing and was tricked by a devil!

Jan 16, 2011
I get it
by: Jill

I also am divorced after coming to realize I had been lied to for years. It sucks. I am still in shock that I was fooled for so long, that I believed him for so long, that I thought his words were true even though his actions never matched up.

I think I'm just plain old PISSED OFF! Which is a hard thing to admit because I too value my relationship with God and it still feels strange to be so mad.

So, yeah, I get it. I'm sorry you were lied to and I'm sorry he is such a butt.

It's been so sobering to find out that you can really be making good choices in your life and think that others, who say they have the same values, just don't do what is right, what is good. I'm not saying we who were lied to are perfect. But I'm grown up enough to admit when I'm wrong and then DO something about it.
Your ex-husband just doesn't have the character to do the right thing.

I feel sorry for him. Make no mistake, people do reap what they sow...eventually.

Jan 15, 2011
mom of two grown
by: Anonymous

Hi. Your story is horrible. I'm not a lawyer, but I know there are laws against this, both abusing you and child porn. It's probably too late to do anything about the abuse, and may do more harm than good if he turns violent. But child porn is a whole different story.

Just "looking" at photos may not be a crime in your state, but "looking" often leads to "doing." If I were in your position, first I'd check with a criminal lawyer--many will give you a free consultation over the phone. You can block your number and shouldn't have to give your name.

Then, when I knew the deal I'd call the authorities. You should be able to remain anonymous. In some states it's a crime just to possess such pictures. Also, whatever you think about his new girlfriend, I'd be very concerned if she has young children. Turning him in would not only make him pay for some of his crimes, it could well save a precious young life.

Jan 12, 2011
by: Anonymous

ya- but what about justice? thats what im so sad/ mad about! he lives a lie and continues on while all the promises and vows he broke go unpunished. He blasphemed God- lied to me 8 years- broke every promise. now he goes on telling everyone it was me, i argued too much. He has never had to be made accountable for anything! his family protects him from owning up to his sins. now he has a new girlfriend- didn't skip a beat and i know hes doing the same things.

Jan 11, 2011
Glad you left him

I "had" a friend who's boyfriend was addicted to porn. She caught him at it time and time again. Hated him for it hated herself too for doing nothing about it. I myself took her in 3X when she claimed she had had enough. She finally DID leave the good for nothing.

However, she found a man much the same. And I also helped her leave him. She went back to him 2 weeks later...

I miss my friend but cannot condone such destructive behavior. She even stayed with this man after he made a drunken rude obscene offer to her daughter while she was sent into the house for a bogus reason.

I am so sorry that you had to go through this but be thankful that you had the sense to leave and stay out of his miserable life.

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