It will be 13 years on January 11, 2013.
Lost my mom to cancer and I am still having a difficult time with it, especially around Christmas. Will never forget the last Christmas dinner my daughter, my sister and I had with mom sitting around her on her bed. I even mentioned that I would never forget it.
I miss my mom so much and feel so indescribably blue. I live with regrets of not being a better, loving daughter. She has always been there for my daughter, and me and also my sister who lives in Holland, we lived in Canada as my mom did. I was impatient and short and still she was there for me. She made me feel safe and loved.
I am trying to be a good mom to and for my daughter now. Will always be there for her and will have the patience only a mother can have for her child(ren).
Mom, thank you for being you! Will love you always and when we meet again the first thing I will do is hug you and apologize.
Oh MOM!!!
Mayke – Mississauga, ON

Comments for Mommy...

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Dec 30, 2012
Peace to all!
by: Edmay

Hello Veronica, Doreen & Anonymous,
Thank you for your healing words, you have helped me in
more than one way already
I have only started on December 28th and thanks to all of
you I have felt some sort of peace and acceptance.
You have opened my heart and mind and will read your
beautiful messages over and over. Everything you have
written is true and all I needed were these words from you.
I am and will be forever thankful to you and others to come.
Wherever you are you will always be in my thoughts and
would like to wish you all a warm, loving, healthy New Year.

Dec 29, 2012
Hello Mayke
by: Veronica

I lost my Mum exactly three months ago and I have many, many regrets. Somehow, though, it seems that all my regrets are linked to the fact that I loved her so very much. I find that I cannot recall the happy moments when I was young and she was everything I needed, without experiencing regret for the times when I was not nearby to help her through the difficult times. It hurts my heart so very much and I perfectly understand what you are feeling.

I do not know how much it will help you but it does help me to remember that the love we feel for our mothers is a complex thing. It is the happiest, warmest, most comfortable thing in the world. Nothing can compare to the security we feel, knowing how much they love us. I believe it is that very feeling of security which allows us to be who we are. If we are impatient at times, it is because they give us the space to be impatient. It is the nature of their love for us and they would not have it any other way.

I do not have children but I believe the best way in which we can pay respect to our mothers is to help our children to understand the devastation we feel at their loss. Help them to help you, and I am certain that when your time comes to leave them, they will feel comfort, knowing that they had the opportunity to support you in one of life's deepest sorrows. Remember that it is the same sorrow which they will have to endure one day. It might help to prepare them, just a little.

I wish you Peace and Contentment as we approach this New Year to come... Veronica

Dec 29, 2012
by: Doreen U.K.

Mayke I am sorry for your loss of your Mommy. You say that it has been 13yrs. You are still deeply wounded by your loss. Perhaps a little grief counselling will benefit you. The skilled support will help you move forward and help you cope with your hurt and loss.
REGRETS We all have them and also spring from our grief. Just make sure you don't have these regrets linger longer than they should. Mom's are famous for LOVING, GIVING, SUPPORTING. This is what they do and they love it because they love their children. They expect nothing in return. It is UNCONDITIONAL. So don't feel guilty. Don't feel you should have been a better daughter, and done more. Your mother would have taken this in her stride, and accepted each child with their own personality, peculiar ways, and strengths, and weakness's. There are no perfect kids. This is what contributes to the making of the FAMILY. Memories good or bad is what defines us in our own unique way, of belonging and still Loved despite this. Families will come with fractures. It is the Love within that family that will Heal those wounds. WE don't have to prove ourselves. Just BE OURSELVES. Just like a Tapestry. All the rough knots on the underside which is our trials, peculiarities, sorrow, life experiences. Turn the tapestry over and it is perfect. This is the value our moms see in us.

Dec 28, 2012
Thank you!
by: Mayke

Thank you, Anonymous!
Make lots of beautiful memories with your husband and family. Cherish each precious moment with them.
Wishing you and your beautiful family a warm,happy and filled with lots of laughter 2013.
Hugs back to you.

Dec 28, 2012
Edmay's sister
by: Ilona

thanks Ed for writing this message.It will be a very special day for me too.
love you Kiddo.....

Dec 28, 2012
I so understand your grief
by: Anonymous

I also lost my mom a little over a year ago, December 14, 2011. She battled cancer for 5 & 1/2 weeks and then the cancer took her. Five and a half weeks just wasn't enough to spend with her. I miss her more and more every day and find it very hard to function some days. The holidays have been especially painful. My husband and I have 5 grandchildren and they bring much joy to our lives, yet there is such a void that is there.
My mom and I got really close just over the past 2 - 3 years. I visited her and my dad every weekend until our grandchildren came into the family and then we had our own family gatherings. We invited my folks to come and join in our family gatherings and they did a good bit.
There are things that I really wish I could have done; gotten to know my mom better.
It is sooo hard and I feel for you as well. I'm just waiting for a time when my heart will truly be happy again, when I can feel at peace again, when I can truly enjoy life again.
Hugs to you.

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