Mommy's Fight With Cancer 03-08-67 to 01-19-13

by Shannon Fillinger
(Cleveland, Ohio, USA)



My mother hid her illness from me and my other 4 siblings for too long and we did'nt know she was so sick until May of last year. I tried to be by her side as much as possible but i work part-time and go to school full time to be a medical assistant to follow up to be a registered nurse so I can work in hospice. She got deathly sick before my eyes. She was vomiting, screaming in pain, and had difficulty breathing from her anxiety and cancer. The hospital gave her 72 hours to live when we took her to the hospital the last time. She beat the 72 hours and doubled that before the hospital sent her to hospice care. I didn't leave her side as much as possible. I tried to console her to let her know that she can let go and our family will be fine. I promised her that I would finish school and come work at the hospice facility she was in. She fought the whole time... against all medications and everything they did to ease her pain and keep her relaxed. I really don't think she was ready. She was only 45 years old and our birthdays are only 2 days apart. I have no idea how I'm going to go on without her here. She was my best-friend and my escape. I am trying to do all she asked before she passed even though its not easy. She didn't have life insurance. The cancer hit her brain and she thought she sent out the forms and had everything together, but we found the form filled out in her bedroom. So it's mainly just my sister and I who is paying for everything. I miss my mom so bad. I still have her voice mails and I try to listen to them as often as possible. My hearts so broken. I can't wait til I graduate,I know she'll be there. I can't wait to finish my book, shes in it, but most of all, I can't wait to see her again. I will always be Mommy's Baby.

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