MOOSE

by NANCY
(OREGON)

MY MOOSE HAS BEEN GONE SINCE 9/26/09. I FINALLY HAD THE MONEY TO ORDER A HEADSTONE LAST WEEK. ANOTHER PAGE TURNED.

NOW I HAVE A LARGE SHOP THAT WE BUILT TOGETHER TO CLEAN OUT. PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT EVERYTHING I TOUCH STILL HAS MEANING. I WANT TO CRY AND CRY, BUT MUST GO ON WITH THE SORTING AND THE SELLING. DON'T PEOPLE REALIZE I LOSE ANOTHER LITTLE PIECE OF HIM EVERY TIME SOMETHING IS LOADED AND HEADED DOWN THE ROAD? SOON THE SHOP AND LAND WILL NO LONGER BE OURS, BUT I HAVE TO SEE IT EVERY DAY AS IT IS ACROSS THE ROAD FROM OUR HOUSE.

WHY CAN'T I JUST RUN AWAY AND HIDE? ONCE THIS HURDLE IS CROSSED, I'M GOING TO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE HOUSE OF HIS UNTIL I'M READY - WHICH MAY NEVER COME.

Comments for MOOSE

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Mar 12, 2011
Letting go of Memories
by: Judith

Nancy, only you will know when it's time to "clean house" . I'm holding on to My husbands reaming clothes and shoes and underwear until I decide I can let go. I wasn't ready to let go of him either. We don't just get rid of people pr things because it may bring us pain. We hold on regardless.

There will come a day when you'll know it's right.

The thought of taking Chuck's photos and boxing them up kills me because it's like boxing him up. I can't do it and even if per chance I meet someone else they would just have to understand or not be in my life.

God bless your days & nights.

Mar 12, 2011
Hold on to the Memories
by: Patti

I attend a weekly grief support meeting. Last week we discussed holding on to our spouses "things." My husband had a lot of family heirloom type things which I passed on the my daughter and son. I gave them things to give their children when they grow up. I made my niece pack up his clothes. I just couldn't do it. Every time I took a shirt out of his closet I remembered the last time he wore it.
As I'm sitting at my computer I look around me and I see 8 pictures of him within easy view. I can't let those pictures go. I can't box them up and store them away. Yet....every time I look at them I feel a stab through my heart.

I held on to my husband's robe. It's a Ralph Lauren black terry cloth with a red Polo pony on the front. The other night I actually slept with it. It smells like him. According to my grief counsellor I shouldn't be doing this to myself.
What do we hold on to and what do we let go of? I don't know the answer.

For now the robe stays with me. The pictures will remain out. When we're ready we'll move forward with God's help.
Blessings to you.

Mar 10, 2011
every object brings a memory
by: Anonymous

You dont have to touch anything in the house till you are ready. Each object brings a memory which brings tears and I remember just walking around with....something, not sure what to do with it.

I am clearing out the house to start over, the memories being too painful for me to bear any longer. But everyone has their own ways of dealing with grief. Also it has been 15 months for me and your grief is more recent. You have made it through the fall and winter. Spring will be here soon and I resented the seasons change at first. It only meant more time that I had not shared with My Love. Don't let anyone tell you how or when to grieve it is the only thing that we have control over as grief does a number on us day in and day out.

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