More Lost Now than Year I Lost Four People

by Larry

Between Nov 2010 and Dec 2011 I lost my mother, my sister, my father, and my best friend. My mother was 66 and passed away from lung cancer, my sister (45) passed three months later from alcoholism, my dad passed the following October from a broken heart(?)( we took him to the hospital one day because he didn't seem right and a week later he died in intensive care), a few months later my best friend (41), that I had known since birth took his own life. I think for a year or two I was numb, plus there were other friends and family members around to offer comfort. Now they are moving on with their lives and I am putting on a show of doing the same thing, but I often feel more lost than ever. Death is a fairly constant subject in my mind which can be a real drain on my well being. I never thought about it much before the deaths. I have one sister left that I am not at all close with. I do have a wonderful wife and two daughters that I love spending time with and have gotten me through a lot. I just wonder when or if I will get past my current feelings or if I will eventually learn to live with them.

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May 24, 2014
More Lost Now than Year I Lost Four People
by: Doreen UK

Larry you have sustained a heavy loss of the closest people to you. Often people can be helped by the support of a grief counsellor when they have had multiple losses. I am not surprised you are facing a lot of grief 1yr. later. When you have good supportive family and friends it makes the grief experience easier. It is when everyone goes back to their own lives and we are left all alone with our grief, it is then we really feel ALONE. The loneliness and emptiness are heavy to bear. Grief has a process and we cannot rush this or even do anything to speed the process. Crying, and honouring your grief and the way you feel is the best way forward. So is taking ONE DAY AT A TIME.
I nursed my husband for over 3yrs. through the worst terminal lung cancer which grew inside him for 40yrs. when he first cut asbestos in the workplace. He was 65yrs. and died 2 years ago, missing out on his retirement. This has been the worst loss for me.
You lost your parents. A sibling. A best friend. All within a year. You may face many days of pain and sorrow from your loss's. But you will RECOVER. It often feels as if this pain will be with us FOREVER. TAKING ONE DAY AT A TIME. Helped me move forward better. But 2yrs. on I feel worse as everyone has gone back to their own lives and I feel all alone. I miss my husband so much it is UNBEARABLE PAIN. The PAIN OF GRIEF is so hard to bear. But we can all bear testimony that you will HEAL from your grief. It just takes a long time because the Healing is slow. Often you may feel you are moving forward and coping and then suddenly hit a trough of depression. If you find yourself struggling and not moving forward then please go and see a grief counsellor who is trained and skilled to help us move forward better. Sometimes one can be stuck in grief and not able to move forward and then going to work with a counsellor the blockages are cleared and we can feel life easier. Don't forget also the greatest Healer is God and He is also our comforter. Don't give up!! Life will get better.

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