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Most Beloved: Tank

by Rhonda D
(San Diego)

Beautiful Tank

Beautiful Tank

Oh Tank.
I miss you so much that my heart feels broken.
I feel so guilty and wish I could take it back.
You almost made it to 14 years old but that horrible tumor came back after just 6 months, making it impossible for you to even take a poop in peace.

Your back legs would give out and I had to wipe your bottom after you went to bathroom but I didn't care.

It seemed so perfectly reasonable and the right and honorable thing to do for you, but I haven't stopped crying since.

I miss seeing you as soon as I come home, laying in your special spot. Dragging yourself up to come greet me. Waiting patiently for me to come to you if the other dogs were in your way.
You were always the best, most loyal boy and I love you the best out of our dogs.

I miss you following me EVERYWHERE I went. Even to a different room.

I miss you jumping up and acting like a tough old man when the other dogs were play fighting. I miss you chasing big ole pit bull Joker and him running away from you.

I miss giving you your special treats every day.
This is the worst thing I have gone thru and I have been thru human deaths.

I would give anything to have you here beside me.
I love you so so so much my sweet boy and I can't wait until we are together again.

"You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us."

Sometimes he sits at your feet looking into your face with an expression so gentle and caressing that the depth of his gaze startles you. Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes!"

Comments for
Most Beloved: Tank

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I understand
by: Rhonda

Hi Stacy,

Oh my heart breaks for you. It will be 38 weeks tomorrow since my Tank had to go but it?s as fresh today and hurts just as much. Maybe it is easier for some people, but he was my best friend in the whole world and was loyal to the end. I can?t just let it go and I suspect you may feel the same way. I can?t promise it will get easier, but the pain lessens just slightly for me if I am not thinking about him: as soon as I see a picture or look at his ashes it just brings it all back. Believe me, I think of him every day and still cry almost daily. I just try not to let people see me. Or I do it in the shower.
I just don?t feel bad about it: I feel like I honor him with my sadness, knowing that I will NEVER forget him.

What makes me happiest or easier for me is just to imagine him laying and stretching contentedly in the warm sun. That smile on his face. Peaceful. And he is dreaming of me when I am here thinking of him.

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy.
My boy
by: Stacy

Hi Rhonda
I just had to put my 13 1/2 year old to sleep only 3 days ago. Tank sounds so much like my boy. He also had a very hard time getting up and would follow me everywhere. He was almost deaf and blind, but he always would follow me around. I feel like I am going crazy without him. I feel so guilty about ending his life. All I see is that blue poison being injected into him and then I see his sweet face that I held in my hands slowly get heavier until I felt his last breath on my face. I just don't know how to keep moving on. I am so devastated.
Thank you
by: Rhonda

Thank you both for your kind comments. It has been almost 20 weeks and I am still just sooo devastated. I talk to my Tank every day and sometimes pretend he is still by me.

I like to think he is just sleeping and when I am thinking and daydreaming of him of him that he wakes up happy thinking of me too and is in a nice sunny warm place and is just chilling and relaxing until we are together again. I am not afraid to die now because I know he will be there waiting for me still.

"We only part to meet again"
I wish you the best 11-4-09
by: Henry

Tank looks like a sweet loving mass of dog. I know you miss him SO SO much. I went through the same thing. Barn was there from the first time I came home from the hospital till 10-12-09. Barn was 16 years old when we decided to put him down. I will always miss him, as you will all ways miss Tank. Good luck.
Henry
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
by: Anonymous

I hope no one has had the nerve to tell you that our pets do not go to heaven. I struggled with that question after my Rocky boy was diagnosed with cancer. I can certainly say, with NO DOUBT whatsoever that Tank will be there waiting for you! I pray peace for you during this horrible time. It truly is heartbreaking.

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