Mother's day of sorrow
Today is my first mother's day without my oldest son who suddenly passed away over 4 months ago at 20 yr old. I have 3 children living whom I love and yet I am unhappy. I cried through the mass in church. It rained heavily and steadily most of the day. I went to see a dance show and several pieces were death-themed (Am I only noticing it now because I'm sensitized?). Just 30 more minutes left in this day and I just want them pass. I don't want to be me.