mrs m mortimer

by mary
(lancs )

just found this by accident im in a bad place its five years now since my soulmate passed and im still in days of complete down everyone thinks im ok and getting on with living instead i have days of feeling nauseous and just crying is there anyone there that feels so bad . we were married for 50 years should be grateful when i see young ones not being so blessed but he was part of me and i cant believe he isnt here : nobody would believe this of me they all see me as strong and funny enjoying life at least i can say this here as really me are there other people feeling like this after so long ? i feel ungrateful as i have lovely family and friends is this normal?

Comments for mrs m mortimer

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Jul 18, 2012
thank you
by: mary

love to you all for all your help

Jul 18, 2012
coping with grief
by: mary

thank you all for your lovely comments you are such lvcaring people i keep asking myself why bad things happen to good people ! bear with me for my internet ignorance i click all over and try to do the right things but im learning god bless you all

Jul 17, 2012
coping with grief
by: Anonymous

dont use this too well as new to all this new e mailing just want to send thoughts and prayers to all you lovely people who are struggling with things like i am hope you can pick up this e mail keep in touch and thanks mary

Jul 15, 2012
love to you all
by: Anonymous

just sending love to you all on this hard road we are on we will be helped god bless

Jul 12, 2012
golden oldie
by: Anonymous

still practising with this new way of communicating with people try to read all your e mails so much grief my heart goes out to you all im still in a mmess since my soulmate passed and its 5 years cant take it in been suffering with anxiety depression god how hard it is an im one of the lucky ones my heart thought and prayers go out to you all specially you young ones god bless you

Jun 16, 2012
me to you
by: Anonymous

just thinking of you all how grieving catches you with really bad days just crying ansd feeling sick have you all in my prayers night god bless mary xx

May 19, 2012
me to you
by: Anonymous

god bless you all on here what lovely caring people you are why do these sad times happen to such good people but we cant have answers can we just know our loved ones dont leave us if that is our belief would like to hear what all your beliefs are and do they help god bless you all love mary x

Apr 13, 2012
trying to get help
by: Anonymous

thank you caring people on here i have heeded your comments and have finally accepted docs help of some counselling thought i was so clever coping for 5 years without my soulmate !ill try to let you know how it goes besr with me as im a silver surfer ! and make it hard work some time god bless you all have you all in my thoughts and prayers g b mary x

Apr 02, 2012
thaking all you kind people
by: Anonymous

what loving e mails thank you all so much makes me feel better knowing im not alone in this god bless you all xxmary

Mar 23, 2012
my journey
by: Anonymous

do any of you loving people on here have any advice for the physical problems connected with grieving like depression symptoms like crying and feelings of nausea ? why after 5 years of coping my loss has hit me so hard now ? i feel ashamed when i read of terrible losses of children and younger people losing their soulmates but just to let these feelings out here is a blessing i have to put on my happy coping faces with my loving family and dear friends god bless you all x

Mar 19, 2012
thanking all you kind people
by: Anonymous

so grateful to all you loving people who have sent mssges it so helps to be able to say that the person the family and friends see is not the grieving person missing the other half that was their life until they passed. i thank god every day for the gift that my husband was to me and who i believe is still with me in spirit god bless you all keep on mssging im a new golden oldie at this computing so its hit and miss most of the time love mary

Mar 18, 2012
by: Zoe

Grief is personal there is no right or wrong
I am going on two years most people would say I'm much better
They don't know
I love my John with all my heart right now here today
I have come to the point I know this is where I will be I chose to be his wife I did not choose this
I choose to love him
I am a widow
Come here as you need to
This is a place of no judgement
We understand
And even at five years when it is too much
One step one breath one day at a time

Mar 18, 2012
No normal in grief
by: Anonymous


Cut your self some slack and find yourself a grief group to talk to. I am two years in and find myself all over the place with emotions at times. Lets define "Normal" isn't it within the confines of what most people feel or experience? Grief is so very individual. Although we come to sites like this to find out if others experience some of the same emotions to feel Normal.

I accept the fact that I will always Love and Miss My Love. That is the way that it is for me. The doorbell rings with no one there, The front doorbell is broken and rings. I talk to My Love as if he is the one ringing it. Is that Normal? Who cares? It make me feel better thinking that he is checking up on me. Looking down from heaven, on good days and bad.

I did not go to a grief group until just before the 2 year mark when I thought what is wrong with me I should be "Over it"! or on some path that is my own. My logic knows that this is my life that he is never coming back why do I still miss him?

He was with me for 17 years so it will take me at least 17 years to "get over it" You Love was with your for ? 50? I wish there was a grief site for people who still grieve after the allotted acceptable time. Then we could know that it is Normal that we ARE normal. remember grief is so very individual. Find a hospice a grief group and listen at first. There is no pressure to speak.
I understand and so will others...

Mar 17, 2012
feeling your pain
by: Anonymous

Dear Mary, I am so sorry for your loss and also so sorry that you feel so badly. I must be honest, I don't think we will ever stop missing our husbands, but I think that time does make it a little more bearable. Sometimes it feels like he died yesterday and other times it feels like it was 20 years ago. The grief you feel with the loss of a spouse is like no other. It feels like half of you was ripped away. I find comfort in the fact that I had my dear husband for as long as I did. Though I feel so awful now, I had so many wonderful years. Wishing you peace Joanne, Chicago

Mar 17, 2012
some ideas
by: Anonymous

Dear Mary,

I'm so sorry for your loss and how it continues to affect your life. I truly am. In reply to your post, I think that it is *very* normal to have such feelings after having lost a loved one, particularly after having such a long, life-shaping relationship as yours. Maybe it would be best to talk with one of your close family members or friends about how you feel - what do you think?

Is there anyone you can talk to who knew your spouse well and about your relationship with him? Of course, there are also people who study and think about these issues for a living. Counselors, academics, and religious and other leaders spend hours each and every week talking with people in difficult life-situations, including those who have lost spouses after many years of marriage. So maybe you could talk with family and an professional expert? (It seems like these issues are too important not to.)

I lost my only sibling in a tragic accident, and talking with family and a counselor about what's been on my mind has been very helpful. These are just some ideas; I hope they may be of some help.

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