Mrs. T. F.

I have been staring at this blank page for 10 minutes and still don't know where to start.

My husband of 34 years is no longer holding my hand. As of March 2, 2010 ...I walk with my hands at my side with no one to hold on to or connect with.

Even though I am a Hospice Patient care volunteer, I can't seem to apply any of my knowledge/training to myself. I am totally lost.

I look at Edvard Munch's painting of *The Scream* and I see me standing there. Everyone around is going on with their lives and I'm in my own hell.

By far, my Bob is better off where he is now because he suffered for 13 months. Watching him every day slowly waste away was a hell deeper than when I saw his last breath. A good man is gone. I was so loved.

Comments for Mrs. T. F.

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Apr 19, 2010
I cry for you
by: Anonymous

Hospice is a wonderful organization, and of course everyones grief is their own; no matter what the guidelines are, as they say here. Scream now I will scream with you. I lost half of myself on Nov 3, 09

Mar 23, 2010
Mrs T.F.
by: DJR

Hi Mrs TF,

I lost my wife ( and my best friend) of nearly 35 years 31/12/09. Just reading of your anguish set me sobbing beacsue I'm in exactly the same place. It's OK to be "in your own hell". Today (24/03/10) has been particularly bad as, altho' I'm at work I've cried a lot even now as I write this. I don't know what will comfort you but am offering up a prayer on your behalf that God will be gracious and "show up" for you. May you find strength each day to bear the loneliness.
Best Wishes.

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