by rim

I love him so much, I miss him. I am lost and in pain. My love lost his fight with cancer 3 weeks ago on the 9/3.he was my light my love my soulmate. I left a friends and family and moved country to be with him cause he was the one. Now I am alone in a home we did together. It is strange to be here when he is not. And I can't let go cause I'm afraid to lose the last connection. I have family staying over for a short while but they'll be gone and I will be alone. I have no work to go to. I am afraid to go insane, depressed and do something foolish. I miss him so much and I am hurting like mad. It seems I am standing still and the world is moving. I love you my love and always will.

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May 08, 2013
by: silver

I have been where you are.My soul mate-my love died May 29,2011.It will soon be 2 yrs.I didn't think I would make 1 let alone 2. I was in shock for a long time.I didn't know it but at 15 months I lost it and cried so much that I made my lungs raw and had to go on medicine to recover.Please try to avoid that.I did go on antidepressants for a short while after that. It helped but nothing helps all the time.I also went to mental health clinic for awhile.The thing that has helped me the most is talking to him and to others about him.People might think I'm crazy but when I talk to him it helps me.I write poetry and that helps too. Find something you can do.I also wrote a journal each day for awhile.Writing down how I felt and what I was thinking helped me.I,like you couldn't give anything away.I didn't even wash his clothes until his smell was gone.I wear his robe and house shoes still. I have managed to give some of his things to our sons but not anything else yet.It takes time.No one can say how much.I still cry some days.Like my husband used to say,"It never goes away but it does get easier." I know that one day I will see him and hold him again when it is my turn to go home.I pray for you and others like us.May GOD give you love and peace.

Apr 07, 2013
by: Lawrence

Oh! How I feel for you, I am in exactly the same position. I lost my precious cherished wife three months ago after being together for 70 years and the pain is still intense. The days and nights stretch endlessly ahead and the loneliness is unbearable, but I am told it does get better so be strong as I am trying to be and wait.
Go see your doctor and don’t be afraid to take antidepressant’s to help you get over this nightmare.
Everyone on this site is praying for you.

Apr 01, 2013
by: Linda

How true, it does get worse after the funeral is over & people go on with their lives. I lost my hubby Jan 21,13 very suddenly to a massive heart attack. The days & nights seem to just get harder and the pain inside aches so much. I can't imagine being in another country, I hope you can find a grief counselor or someone to talk to. My very best wishes for you. You will be in my prayers....Take Care

Mar 31, 2013
by: Doreen U.K.

Rim I know exactly how you feel. But worse for you being in a strange land and isolated. It is worse after the funeral when everyone is gone their own ways and we are left alone with our grief and lonliness.
It does make me also feel as if the world is moving and I am standing still. It is a very unreal feeling. I feel as if I am in a new country and I want to go home.
You are in this situation. If it gets really bad you may try a grief counsellor. Having some urgent counselling will help you through the worst of this grief till you can find your way back. I want my husband of 44years back. He died 11 months ago of a deadly cancer. Incurable and inoperable. he had no chance of survival. One of the worst feelings is to be in a strange country all alone and no support. Is it possible for you to come back to your family and friends? or it this impossible due to accommodation? It is always worse finding our way back from the edge. I am sorry for your loss of partner. May you be comforted in your loss and deep grief.

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