Ms Thomson

by Pauline

Hi,I have been now separated since October 2013, married for 13 years & we have three children together. Their ages are 13,10, and 20 months. This time I left the marriage. My husband was married 3 times before me and was also engaged. My husband lied about the three marriages and the engagement, said he was only married twice and didn't come forward until I got to know him better. To cut 13 years down,my husband had an affair in the first three years of our marriage. I found telephone records of the person he phoned, this had been going on for 12 months or so. We separated,he moved out and was seeing her. Evidence was there of this, he denied this once again. Starting to feel that he is a compulsive lier. We recomenced our relationship to give it another try,providing he would come clear with the affair. Marriage was ok for a few years until I found evidence of more emotional affairs. This caused another breakup. He once again moved out. Once again he re-partnered immediately and moved directly from our home to hers. He constantly reminded me via emails, text messages and so forth that she was the "one". A few months had past he stated that there was no real involvement with this woman, he only behaved this way so he could hurt me was his words. I fell pregnant with our third child. My husband denied having any intimate involvement with this women,hence us having a new baby and starting a new chapter in our lives. We started a new business together and for two years it seemed great. I would still ask him if there was involvements, he of course denied this. I received a phone call at our business from the women's partner that my husband was seen leaving her house. To cut a long story short what came out of this was he was romantically involved and lied once again. Within the last month of us being together I found evidence that my husband was on a online date site. As you could imagine another separation. This time I have left the marriage. My husband is again involved with another women, whom is a staff member in our business. My grief is that he filters his information through our children what he is doing with his new partner. He hasn't seen his children in 2 months and wishes to tell them over the phone of the new stepmother. I feel kicked in the teeth once again. Meanwhile I left the marriage without a penny to my name,he took our only vehicle,and denied any funds to me from our joint business He also pays around 20 per week in child support as he falsifies the books.

Comments for Ms Thomson

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Apr 27, 2014
God is on your side!
by: Michelle Livous

Ms. Thomson,

Know this, God is on your side and he will make provisions for you and your babies. You have legal rights, exercise them! You are going to come through this healed and whole.

Grieve for a while and then get up and get on with your life! I will be praying for you!

God bless and keep you and your babies!

Michelle Livous

Apr 27, 2014
Ms Thomson
by: Doreen UK

Pauline I ran out of space and want to expand on my first post.
YOU have RIGHTS. He cannot deny you money and child support. See social Services. It shouldn't matter if you left the marriage. You had no choice. You put your children's welfare first and this should count in your favour. You need the right people on your side. FOCUS on those strong woman who fought the odds and won in life where there was injustice. It will feel like your world is caving in right now. But take one day at a time and focus on what you have to prioritize in day care and money to live on. Housing if you need this. fight for your share of the business. Just don't give in and let him have it all. Try and get Social Worker support that he has supervised visits and phone conversations with his children that he cannot cause them emotional damage by what he shares with them. There has to be boundaries. Children can become emotionally damaged by inappropriate conversations. You don't need your EX making judgements and wild allegations that hurt you and the children and make more problems for you.
Many things have to be put in place for you and the children's welfare and you shouldn't have to access all this help by yourself. It should be available to you and given. I know it may sound easy what I am saying. I know it isn't. Because of the lack of resources. Bang on doors if you have to. Write to your MP (Member of Parliament.) I DID when my husband was ill and did not get good medical care. My husband died of his cancer 2yrs. ago but I fought the biggest battle to the top (hierarchy) of our medical services and I WON FOR MY HUSBAND. It was worth it. Write back with an update and more support if you need this. Best wishes.

Apr 27, 2014
Ms thomson
by: Doreen UK

Pauline you did right. Put your WISDOM hat on and knew when to leave the marriage.
Your husband sad to say is a serial CHEATER. He does not have any Integrity towards you or his children.
I wouldn't be surprised if all this two-ing and fro-ing hasn't in some ways affected your children emotionally.
If you are able to see a counsellor for a couple of sessions you will receive the support you need plus the skills to move forward better, and be able to discuss your children's emotional state so they also can move forward better and not leave you ragged if in the future they should be affected emotionally by the input from their father which could confuse them, and cause behavioural problems which you will have to deal with by yourself. Not easy bringing up three children on your own. BUT. My sister lives in Queensland. Had a husband with 4 children. She had one child and three with him. He cheated on her and left her with his three children with her. One from her previous relationship and his four children he went into the marriage with. All his four children had severe emotional problems. She had a hard time. BUT. She fought for those children as HER OWN and did the best job she could when her husband cheated on her and left her with 8 children. She had no money. It affected her emotionally. She did not have good support and so had one breakdown after another. Today she is stable. Her children all grown up. she is respected and valued. She is a proper earth mother who did her best and did a good job. She gave them all the best LOVE in the world. But with no money she had a struggle. I have every respect for her and what she did for those children that she put FIRST above her own needs. To me she is a SAINT. With the correct support you can move on with your life and bring those 3 children up to be stable and good citizens. YOU CAN DO IT. But with counselling support you could be pointed in the right direction and the proper support put in place for you to move forward. I hope this helps you. It won't be easy. But you can do it. Best wishes.

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