by Gail

I lost a dear girlfriend and was coping with the grief somewhat. The following year my husband up and left us unexpectedly and abruptly. I thought he must have been going through a midlife crisis. It was a shock and I was devistated. The vast consequences were huge and many. Not long after my best friend died of kidney failure, I was numb. A few months later, my father was ill for 3 months and passed away, my mother followed him 4 weeks later. I fell apart. My three grown up children suffer from anxiety, panic attacks and depression, broken relationships and grief. I live alone, I keep to myself. I go to work and smile, and look after others, as I am a nurse. Some days I have had enough. Recently I found out that my then husband was cheating on me when he left us. Another hard knock for us. Some days it is all too much. My wonderful kids come to me with their problems, and sometimes I feel like I am going to fall apart. Too much grief. Too much loss. I feel for all who suffer this. Just take one day at a time. I do.

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Jun 13, 2012
by: Gail

Thankyou... I felt blessed to know that I was in your thoughts, though I really did not look for sympathy, but just to get it out. I know there are so many ppl going through or have been through so much. Its disturbing to suddenly feel that you have just had enough of life while still feeling gratitude for so much. I realise that I need help to get me's just getting there that I find so difficult. Sometimes being a giver can drain the cup dry and there is nothing left to give. I hold back from loading my burdens on my sibings and friends, though they are wonderful loving people,but I choose to suffer in silence. I discribe the past long years like a kind of snowball rolling down a hill, getting bigger and bigger... no time given to heal before the next loss. I try to believe that something "good" will happen to lift me up above it all. Thankyou again for the time you have taken to reply to my post. Truely, thankyou.

Jun 10, 2012
Too much Grief too much pain
by: Doreen England U.K.

Oh how sorry I am for what you are going through. I don't understand why you are having to face so many losses in such a short space of time that you don't even get time to catch your breath. You don't have the support of a husband and you are a caregiver to your patients in your job not counting your children who have their own demands. It seems as if you are having to be all things to all people and you don't have time to process how to go forward let alone cope with life and its difficulties without the grief of many losses.
You need to take time out for you! if you don't you will crumble and what will that do for your children? Isn't there any relatives on your side that can support you and help you through this tough ordeal.
If I didn't have my sisters and their husbands I would not be able to cope. This is difficult losing one close person. You have this trebled and more. Try and see a bereavement counsellor who will support you and help you cope with a severely difficult time in your life. This will make all the difference to your coping and moving forward in the way you need to. There is only one of you. It is impossible to do it all by being all things to everyone. I hope things get better for you in the days ahead and you get the support you deserve and need.

Jun 09, 2012
One Day at a time
by: Anonymous

Gail, I'm so sorry for all of your losses. WE certainly can't control any of it can we? I used to thnk I had control but when the unexpected happens we find out quickly we only control ourselves.

My husband passed before my eyes and it's a hard road to have experienced that. I can only imagine how you feel.

Your being a Nurse doesn't help your recovery of all that's happened to you. It would be nice if you could take a vacation and take your kids somewhere just to change the atmosphere for a while and get a new perspective.

When we come to this site we read of so much loss, self destruction and heartache which helps my perspective in dealing with folks I meet. It makes me be kinder because I know some have gone through more pain than I have.

God bless you and your children and I pray things will get better for you.

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