Much Too Soon
Just a few days before school started, you visited our house with some special treats and new school supplies as a surprise. It was like any other day, and you didn't stay long because you were just going home from the grocery store and had to get your groceries home. I figured I'd see you again in a week or so, because I see you every week or every other week.
School started and after my first day of high school you called like you do every year to see how my first day went. I was in the bathroom at the time. My brother and sister talked to you, and they told you I would call you back. It was my first day but already I had homework to do, so I went to do it and forgot to call you back.
A week later, you thought you hurt your back unloading the car after a short trip up to Michigan for a few days. You were prescribed Vicodin by your doctor over the phone. You didn't tell anyone. It wasn't until a few days later when you fell and couldn't get up that Grandpa somehow managed to call my aunt, your daughter. My aunts and my father all rushed over to your house to help you. They told me you were acting delusional, speaking nonsense. I couldn't imagine it. They waited a day to see how you were, because you didn't want to go to the hospital. You seemed fine. They left. You fell again. Everyone came back, and spent another day with you before deciding in the afternoon to take you to a hospital. After hours of waiting, the doctors took literally one; one look at you and sent you home saying you we're fine. They said it was the medication, and gave you something weaker. We all thought you would be okay. My aunts stayed with you, took care of you and Grandpa.
You started actually getting sick, like throwing up. That doesn't happen when you have a back injury. You were taken back to the hospital, where they ran many many tests on you. They couldn't figure out was wrong. My college aged cousins, aunts, uncles, parents, even second cousins stayed with you every night. I was sure you would recover, they were too. They said your condition wasn't good, and everyday seemed to get worse, but they knew you would get better. I didn't know anything that was going on until much later. But I know now that the doctors and nurses didn't really care to give you much medical attention.
Apparently you got bad enough to be put on life support. You fell asleep. A day passed, then two. You didn't awaken. They made the tough decision to pull the plug, knowing you wouldn't want to go on like that. For a few minutes, you were gone. The doctors said you were gone. Then your heart start beating again. The doctors said it was a miracle. I don't know when, but later that day you really went away.
We celebrated your 70th birthday party just earlier this year. You have never been sick before, not ever. I didn't understand. I still don't understand. It's been a month. The autopsy said a staph infection from a large cut you were hiding on your head because you didn't want us to worry. You always put your family before yourself like that.
It's so painful to think that you're gone. I'll miss your hugs, your wet kisses, the board games we played together, the delicious treats you made for us, the pizzas we made together, the phone calls you always gave us on our birthday, the holidays that you made, well, the holidays. I was going to choose you to be my sponsor for confirmation at church. Nobody else is eligible anymore, because you can't choose your parents. I thought you would be around for my wedding in who knows how many years. You should have been, because your parents and grandparents lived to their nineties, as you should have.
Not a day goes by where I don't think about you. You leave behind four children, three sons and daughters in law, eleven grandchildren, and your diabetic husband who you did everything for. You made our lives so special, and now there is a gaping hole in our hearts that you used to fill. It makes me sick to my stomach to think you aren't with us anymore. I feel so guilty for not calling you back that one day. I miss you so much, my heart aches and tears soak my pillow all the time. I hope that wherever you are now, you're happy and you know how much we all love you. I would give anything to go back and call you back to tell you how school went. Anything.