Multiple Losses?

by Louise
(Louisiana)

Between my husband and me we have lost 20 immediate family members from September 2005 to January 2010. Eight of those deaths occurred within a six (6) month period, in 2008. We are reeling! Almost every month is the anniversary of some milestone in the life of these loved ones. We had varying levels of intimacy with at least 98% of those that died. Yes, we have a strong belief system and yes, we have others that share this grief on some level—particularly if it was one of their family members. But 20 people!

All of these deaths occurred individually, multiple ages, and in a variety of ways. No natural or man-made disaster that contributed to these deaths. The latest was the result of murder and so far, it is the hardest experience. Is there anyone else out there that have a similar experience?

Comments for Multiple Losses?

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Jan 25, 2014
grief beyond belief
by: lost in space

Seven years ago I lost one of my dearest friends to a long battle with cancer and was devastated. I began to heal about a year later but then my husband left. A week later, my 14 year old dog died. The next month, it was my uncle who was a spiritual tower of strength. The next month, my aunt who was also a strong guide. The next month, my brother died of a massive heart attack. Both of my parents died two years ago after caring for them through extended illnesses, my Dad had dementia and my Mother, Parkinson's. I have not been able to process one loss before experiencing another. I am trapped inside a hell of a depression and it feels as though my own life is over. I know I must reinvent my life but I am 55 and too tired to begin again. Please pray for me. I will be praying for you as well.

Jan 19, 2014
Losses
by: Kate

I have lost near 20 people from family
Including my son a year and two months ago and my closest sister 3 weeks later. My husband of 23 years my parents and on and on...."I do not know how I continue on myself. My heart goes out to us all in this hard journey of pain and sorrow.

Jun 25, 2012
10 in 10 years
by: Anonymous

Hi grievers i lost one person a year for 10 years. it changed me irrevocably and felt as if there was not much of me left. Spiritually thats a good thing and now i work with non-duality which is about letting go of the concpt of me anyway. i felt emotionally incapable of taking much in during those years but now feel that i relate at a different level from a different place than most.
What i learnt tho was that one must process each grief as it happens ( as another couldbe waiting at the door ) It helped alot to read grief theory also.especially 'multiple losses'
Bless you I walk with you, know that one day you will feel stronger and with a rich wisdom that is cultivated in such losses. Your bucket can be filled again.jen

Sep 20, 2010
I am grieved and sorry for your losses
by: Lin

Finally, I have found others who have had multiple losses in a short time. I am the last surviver of my family having lost my parents and both of my brothers within 5 years. I am overwhelmed and feel like I have lost my soul. I don't know if I will survive the physical ailments and emotional emptiness that have no end. Thank you for posting your grief...I finally can see that I am not alone in being so overwhelmed. I need help desperately.

Jan 29, 2010
TO LOUISE/ LOSS OF MANY SOULS
by: Anonymous

TO LOUISE,
I, TOO, HAVE LOST MORE FAMILY MEMBERS THAN I CARE TO THINK ABOUT. IT HURTS. YOU NEVER SEEM TO GET THROUGH GRIEVING OR OVER THE PAIN OF LOSS, BEFORE SOMETHING ELSE COMES ALONG.

THERE ISN'T MANY OF US LEFT NOW. MY MOM LEFT US
LATE IN 2009. BELIEVING THAT GOD IS ALWAYS THERE TO HOLD ONTO YOU AND COMFORT YOU WITH HIS HEALING LOVE, MAKES IT EASIER. BLESS YOU.

Jan 28, 2010
Similar
by: Tan

Well I have had losses close together too. In 2005 my mother passsed. She had a massive heart attack. March 23 in fact, remember it like it was yesterday. Then my mother-in-law moved in after her soon-to-be husband died suddenly in 2007.
Then as we were getting her settled in, she passed. October! Then six months later, my father committed suicide, April 5th of 2008!

It never seems fair. I keep having to switch my brain over from time time. Wondering why all the time just makes it worse. A three year span to lose very important people in your life is just too hard to bear sometimes.

As I get older I see a lot more of the area funeral homes and it is sad. But if God brings you to it, he will bring you through it. Sorry for all your losses, too, and remember time heals all!

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