Multiple Severe Losses in Six Months this year

by Sheryll

Hello. I am experiencing a lot of depression and grief right now.

In February, I lost my beloved pet and was made to feel guilty of not having taken of her better by my boyfriend at that time, who, after my dad passed and got murdered in May broke up with me around the time of my dad's death. He was my only social support and he said I was his. But he said he wanted to "explore" and experience other things out there. I tried reaching out to friends but they seem to have their own lives-- from families to children to new relationships.

And then the sister of my father died of a heart failure in August 7th. She was my surrogate father and became the financial provider to my family until I finish grad school. In addition to that, I lost my job in July because the grief and abandonment that I have been feeling affected my work severely. So severe, that my doctor put me on immediate medical disability for over a month because of a clinical depressive episode. This happened while I already put out my 2-weeks notice and I was deemed unprofessional for abandoning work prematurely. I tried applying for a new job, and although the interviews typically go well, one of my references (from my other job) keeps giving me a bad one. And I have other 2 good references, but employers typically require three and the most recent employer. So I end up not getting an offer although they told me directly that I did so well during the interview and they are interested in having me part of their team, if all else goes well. (It doesn't, because of that reference who declared me as unprofessional and unfit for having to leave job on a doctor's medical note.)

I am so so tired and I can't find any means of support...

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Sep 21, 2012
Multiple Severe Losses in Six Months this year
by: Doreen U.K.

Sheryll I am sorry for all the losses in your life and also the loss of health and employment. Just when one is coping with the loss of beloved family members we are afflicted with yet more tragedy. It is so important to have a means of income otherwise it threatens our survival. It does add to depression and depression adds to our getting better and moving on with our lives. you are trying so hard and everything is going against you. Are you able to get Social Services support and some form of Benefits paid so that you can get on your feet a bit?
It won't solve all your problems. If you don't have the correct references it could stuff up your life and stop you moving forward. I take it you live in America. It doesn't say. I live in England and what I usually do is write to my MP (Member of Parliament) and let him know the full situation. Often he gets his secretary to write off letters to the various people in authority who can make a differnce and this does help. It is hard work though as I have to follow this up with all the writing of letters and admin and it is tiring but nevertheless is one way out of a difficult situation which in your case is stopping you moving forward. If you do belong to a church take yourself off there and Pray for strength and guidance. This has always been my mainstay and given me results even if it takes a long time. Just don't give up. Get people on your side to support you and fight your corner and hopefully something good will come out of it.
Best wishes. Doreen

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