Multiple Severe Losses in Six Months this year
Hello. I am experiencing a lot of depression and grief right now.
In February, I lost my beloved pet and was made to feel guilty of not having taken of her better by my boyfriend at that time, who, after my dad passed and got murdered in May broke up with me around the time of my dad's death. He was my only social support and he said I was his. But he said he wanted to "explore" and experience other things out there. I tried reaching out to friends but they seem to have their own lives-- from families to children to new relationships.
And then the sister of my father died of a heart failure in August 7th. She was my surrogate father and became the financial provider to my family until I finish grad school. In addition to that, I lost my job in July because the grief and abandonment that I have been feeling affected my work severely. So severe, that my doctor put me on immediate medical disability for over a month because of a clinical depressive episode. This happened while I already put out my 2-weeks notice and I was deemed unprofessional for abandoning work prematurely. I tried applying for a new job, and although the interviews typically go well, one of my references (from my other job) keeps giving me a bad one. And I have other 2 good references, but employers typically require three and the most recent employer. So I end up not getting an offer although they told me directly that I did so well during the interview and they are interested in having me part of their team, if all else goes well. (It doesn't, because of that reference who declared me as unprofessional and unfit for having to leave job on a doctor's medical note.)
I am so so tired and I can't find any means of support...