mum died when i was a baby
I lost my mother suddenly when I was 7 months old (18 years ago), my dad woke up early found she wasn't in bed, got up and went into the bathroom and found her, I cant even begin to imagine what was going through his mind he was then all alone with a baby (me) and a 6 year old (my brother).
She was cremated and buried near my grandparents and so it has always been difficult to go to her grave regularly, but I recently went to stay with my grandparents and went to see her. Since then I have been thinking about her a lot and most of the time its been getting me down. Until now I have been quite a happy person, I have never really been depressed about it, I know this may seam harsh and I don't mean it to be, but it was just something that happened in my life, it has always been 'normal' for me, I have never known any different. It is nearly mothers day and I have been very down recently, my friends help and I have the odd up moments but In general I have been down for days now, I don't understand it, i'm normally really strong. I have felt like crying for days but have only managed to shed a tear once, I never have been one to cry a lot but I feel although I am crying but with out the tears, I have a constant knot in my throat and I haven't been talking much.