Mum died yesterday
My mum passed away yesterday aged 59 after a long battle with cancer. She became paralysed in her last year and it was so hard to see her being hoisted or having to lie in the same position for 2 hours until the careers will turn her. She couldn't speak English so she would often get upset at the careers for not giving her the things she asked for.
She never accepted that she'll never walk and she would ask everyone when she's gonna see the doctor that will make her walk again.
The cancer spread to her bones and she was in so much pain, morphine helped but she wad never pain free.
I used to come and see her every day after work and I was so exhausted. Sometimes I'll get mad at her as she wanted me to stay for longer and I was unable to. I feel that maybe I should have give up work and spend more time with her.
The night before she stopped talking she asked me to stay but I didn't. The next day I came to see her she was not talking. She was just making a sound like she was in pain or crying, with every breath she took. I should have stayed with her.
I spend that day and the night by her bed side. She only stopped making that sound when the priest came and give her the last communion. She looked so peaceful then and she passed away minutes after the priest left. Like she was waiting for him before she go.
I miss her so much, I think about her constantly.