Mum I didn't know what we had

by Annette Parry

Mum died 25th May 2013 and the family was by her side at home. Mum had been ill with bladder cancer for 4 years when she first got diagnosed with this illness they gave 4 to 6 months to live but against all odds she survived 4 years after the diagnosis. . My Daughter had given up her job to look after her so Mum was able to stay at home and not be taken into care.
Unfortunately the cancer spread to her liver and this was the start of the end. Mum was fantastic she had seven children and was left widowed when we were all very young. She had gone through some horrendous times but she got us through and brought all of us well. We lost our eldest sister in 1980 and Mum fought her grief and continued to bring the rest of us up.
She has gone through so much in her life and she was a great mum, she was always there for us.
I was devastated when she died and it is now 6 months on and I feel worse than ever, it doesn’t take much to set me off crying, and I miss her so much. Because she was always there I feel as though I took her for granted and got on with my own life. I should of done more with her….
I wrote this poem for her.
Thank you for being our mum
You’re our rock, our star that shone
You gave us the most precious gift
The life we have, through you we exist.

It will feel strange when you’re not with us
We will miss you so much, you are so precious
Your armchair is now left empty
But the love you left in our hearts is plenty

Your Strength in life gave us direction
We knew you were there to give protection
A home you made we felt secure
Guidance you provided to help us mature

The warmth you gave through thick and thin
You were always there a power within
Our memories as a family together
Something that we will share forever

The foxtrot being your favourite dance
Dad being your true romance
Both spending forty five years apart
Now reunited with your sweetheart

Mum, we don’t want you to go!!
We want you here that’s selfish we know
It’s your time to have with Lynda and Dad
Those times you missed, now yours to have

We will miss you more than you will ever know
The mum and grandmother we love ever so
In our thoughts and hearts you’ll stay
We will love and miss you mum every day.

Annette x

Comments for Mum I didn't know what we had

Click here to add your own comments

Dec 28, 2013
Mum I didn't know I had
by: Anonymous

Dear Annette,
I think if we are honest we all take our mum's for granted as they are a constant in our lives. I know I did with is only since she passed away last July that I realise what a wonderful mother I had, kind, gentle, generous and forgiving.Please don't berate yourself too much. You did what you had to do in life and mothers want their children to live their own lives.Your mum sounded like a strong lady and she would want you to be happy.I know how hard it is to let them go but unfortunately we have to. Be gentle with yourself and take one day at a time. You are not alone.Therese

Oct 18, 2013
I know its hard
by: Annette

I suppose it is a hard lesson to learn, sorry for your loss too.

Oct 17, 2013
T Annette Parry
by: Anonymous

I felt the same after she left me. Hard lesson to learn for me from now. Really sorry for your loss.

Oct 17, 2013
Thank you
by: Annette

Thank you so much for your kind words,something shared is something gained.

Oct 17, 2013
Mum I didn't know what we had
by: Doreen UK

Annette I am sorry for your loss of your mom 6 months ago. It takes many months into years to heal from grief. The best way forward is to TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. I found this worked for me from the advice on this site. We all struggle and try to find our own way back from our loss and it isn't easy. We all have different life experiences and because you lost your father at a young age your mother would have had to be a very strong person to bring up 7 children by herself. She must have been an amazing woman.
It is only when we lose a loved one that we feel that we wished we had spent more time with the person. This feeling is part of grief. As a mom I don't make demands on my children. I accept that they have to live their own lives which is so tedious today with more and more demands on young people. A mom is just happy when she knows her children are happy and living the life they want.
You will recover from grief in time but it is a long tedious journey. Crying is good because it means you are grieving and you are also healing. I wish you better days ahead.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Moms.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!