Murdered at work
My love, my heart, the father of our three beautiful teenage daughters was murdered at work on Feb 12. I don't even know what day it is but I closed the lid on his coffin last night and today is his funeral. The newspaper said over 800 people attempted the joint memorial service the USCG held for him and his coworker yesterday, but I could only focus on his photo, my kids and my husband's best friend.
I spent hours talking, touching, kissing, and arranging his clothes. His face and hands are as familiar to me as my own. My heart is dead, I can scream, have panic shaking, and talk about him like he is on a trip. I can not fathom how I am going to live the rest of my days without him.
My home is full of well meaning relatives and I want them all to go away but I feel responsible for allowing them to grieve in his home. The outpouring from our small community is overwhelming and I appreciate it, but I don't know what to do or say. We were meant to grow old together and annoy our kids in our advanced years, but now I am facing talking with the FBI, USCG Investigators, state troopers and a gazzillion others.
My heart is dead and I don't know how I am to face each morning.