Music Man my Soul Mate!

by Cindy Chester
(Dundee, Oregon, USA)

My husband and I meet in 1967. He was a world class drummer and an old world furniture craftsmen. A loving father and an old soul. He had his first heart attack at the age of thirty two. In 1987 he had open heart surgery with in months of us living together. We knew our time would be filled with health issues and struggles. In 1997 there were five major surgery's. There were many times I was told that this could be the last time I would talk or hold my beloved. Each time we would fight back. In 2011 we went on vacation but we did not know he had a massive heart attack. He had conjunctive heart failure and in 2003 they placed a pace maker/defibrillator to keep his heart in rhythm. From 2011 to 2012 we walked down a very different path. A path filled with his heart stopping and being shocked back into rhythm. Er's and ICU "doctors fighting to save him," calls to his children that this might be the last time. In June of 2012 the VA brought in home health to try to stabilize him at home. Hospice came on board in July. I watched my once strong never back off fighter telling me late in the nights he was so tired and wanted no more surgeries. His doctor with tears in his eyes told us our time together was short. We had to bring in a hospital bed after never sleeping a part. I slept in a twin to be near to him. We had to take oxygen tanks with us. I made up a very short bucket list of things he wanted to do. We went to Newport Oregon where I had set up a fishing trip for him. By now he was so weak he was in a wheelchair. But he so enjoyed his trip. We had family pot lucks and a trip to his sister. By late Aug we were unable to leave our home. My beloved was now 24 7 on hands care. My grandson moved in to help me care for him. When he could no longer stay awake and began to fail and we were told we were in days of his passing my world was truly rocked. We had never been apart "I was sleeping in a twin next to him." When the end came we fought to save him yet he slipped away in my arms. Hospice had been called and the nurse arrived to handle the fire department and police. My grandson made the calls. I climbed into bed to hold and lay with my beloved. Even in death my beloved looked so peaceful. Our father in heaven gently took him home. The children arrived and we were able to spend the night with him. To be able to lay and hold him was such a gift. A time to bless him and pray with him and talk with him. When they came for him the next morning seeing him taken away ripped my soul apart. Had I failed him in some way? Had I not fought hard enough? Where do I begin with out him beside me. He was my next heart beat and thought. Can I survive this? Before his cremation they gave me time to be with him. They let me start the process and then time just seem to flow with out life. Still I curl up with his pillow or coat. My life goes on but my soul is so lost. He was 69 and an old soul and my soul mate.

Comments for Music Man my Soul Mate!

Click here to add your own comments

Oct 19, 2012
My Soul Mate
by: Pat J.Green Bay,WI

Dear Cindy,
Like you my husband was my Soul Mate. We were married 46 years on June 26,2011. At 12:10 a.m. on June 27,2011, I too lost my Soul Mate, Lover and Best Friend. He died from a massive heart attack sitting on the side of our bed. It will be 16 months this month he is gone. I remember it like it was yesterday.
Red(his nickname)was in the hospital starting on the 18th of April, being diagnosed with having a stroke; the Mri showed this was not his first; then surgery in May, then back in the hospital in June with pneumonia. He was in ICU for 3 1/2 weeks. We informed of so many lung and heart issues. Reading your story reminded me what the doctors told us; what his life would be like when he returned home. He was on oxygen 24/7. He returned home on the 25th of June and died on the 27th. God had a plan for him. We all miss him terribly, but it would have been horrible to watch him deteriorate.
Our life is forever changed, but we do and will go on. I still shed tears and miss him terribly. There isn't any time limit on our grief. Things don't really get better; I feel we just learn to accept this is the way it is and we go on.
Like all of us here you too will make it. It isn't an easy journey, but God and our spouses are walking with us. We are not alone. God Bless You.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Spouse/ True Love.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!