My 2 best friends (sister, husband ) died 1 year apart
My only sibling and husband died in 2009 and 2011 respectively. These two people were my best friends. When I married my husband, he understood that I came as a package. Which is one of the reasons I loved him so much; he so respected my relationship with my sister. He understood that we would talk every morning before work and every night. The three of us did most things together; traveled, movies, even our dogs came from the same liter. I was the last one to see my sister before she passed away. I went to her home to take her dog home with me the night before she died ;because she had flu like symptoms , I knew she would not want to walk him the next day. I promised her that I would return the next morning to take her to the doctor. As promised I went to her home the next morning and found her dead. What an unbelievable blow to my psyche...and this happened on my wedding anniversary. Fast forward to 2010 wedding and sister's death anniversary, and my grandfather dies. April 20th, 2011 and the love of my life, (love at fist sight)my true soulmate of 20 years had a massive stroke while working. His three year death anniversary fell on Easter Sunday this year. And my deceased mother had passed away in 1989 on my sister's birthday. And the kicker is that my sister, mother and husbands' birthdays are June 6, 7 and 8, respectively.
Praying to God and excepting "His Will" is the only way I am able to deal with these devastating
transitions. At 50 years old I am figuring out my "new normal"... I am giving myself permission to take my time-- and cry, laugh and scream for as long as I need to. I pray that my anger won't stay around too long. But in the meantime I will continue to trust My God and pray that I get through Mother's Day and the June birthdays. Talk about one day at a time! That's all I can do..."no expectations from no one but myself". This motto Helps me to not get disappointed by others. It also helps me to understand and except that I'm not a priority to anyone. My immediate family members are all deceased. Sure I have friends and cousins, but really they have their own lives to live. I have to believe that I will be okay...otherwise I'm afraid I will walk around in a bleak state of mind.
Most days it feels like I'm looking at a movie, surely this is not my life. Right?