My 2 best friends (sister, husband ) died 1 year apart

My only sibling and husband died in 2009 and 2011 respectively. These two people were my best friends. When I married my husband, he understood that I came as a package. Which is one of the reasons I loved him so much; he so respected my relationship with my sister. He understood that we would talk every morning before work and every night. The three of us did most things together; traveled, movies, even our dogs came from the same liter. I was the last one to see my sister before she passed away. I went to her home to take her dog home with me the night before she died ;because she had flu like symptoms , I knew she would not want to walk him the next day. I promised her that I would return the next morning to take her to the doctor. As promised I went to her home the next morning and found her dead. What an unbelievable blow to my psyche...and this happened on my wedding anniversary. Fast forward to 2010 wedding and sister's death anniversary, and my grandfather dies. April 20th, 2011 and the love of my life, (love at fist sight)my true soulmate of 20 years had a massive stroke while working. His three year death anniversary fell on Easter Sunday this year. And my deceased mother had passed away in 1989 on my sister's birthday. And the kicker is that my sister, mother and husbands' birthdays are June 6, 7 and 8, respectively.

Praying to God and excepting "His Will" is the only way I am able to deal with these devastating
transitions. At 50 years old I am figuring out my "new normal"... I am giving myself permission to take my time-- and cry, laugh and scream for as long as I need to. I pray that my anger won't stay around too long. But in the meantime I will continue to trust My God and pray that I get through Mother's Day and the June birthdays. Talk about one day at a time! That's all I can do..."no expectations from no one but myself". This motto Helps me to not get disappointed by others. It also helps me to understand and except that I'm not a priority to anyone. My immediate family members are all deceased. Sure I have friends and cousins, but really they have their own lives to live. I have to believe that I will be okay...otherwise I'm afraid I will walk around in a bleak state of mind.

Most days it feels like I'm looking at a movie, surely this is not my life. Right?

Comments for My 2 best friends (sister, husband ) died 1 year apart

Click here to add your own comments

May 11, 2014
My 2 best friends (sister, husband) died 1 year apart
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your loss of your close family members. Life hurts after death for a long time, and we wonder how we will go on without those people we loved and who gave meaning and balance to our lives.
I lost my husband to cancer 2yrs. ago and it doesn't get much worse than this. We were married 44yrs. and 3 Adult children who lost their father. It does feel like a dream still, even after 2yrs. I suddenly also lose my memory of where all those years went. Busy mother rearing 3 children taking life as it comes. I don't like the change in my life now and how I have to re-structure my life. Whatever we do for ourselves will somehow be different, strange, and never the same again.
Each day brings its own challenges, and we need our family. Knowing God, is our HOPE and the only way we can go through each day. God is our strength when we lose ours. Often we feel as if we are the only one's going through loss. and when we lose a loved one we feel we are in this dark place for a long time. But God is with us in our dark places. He allows us to stumble and fall so He can be there to pick us up. He puts us in a warm place and He covers us up. This is what God is doing for all our loved one's we have lost. He has covered them up and caring for them till we meet again.
You will feel so lost and broken without your sibling who was so close to you. This is the most painful aspect of your life. May God come close to you through this difficult grief and lift you up into his bosom and give you His comfort and Peace for each day.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Multiple Losses.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!