My 37 year old son, Erich, died of a heroin overdose
My beautiful, intelligent, artistic yet troubled, son Erich died of a heroin overdose on March 7, 2013. He had battled heroin addiction for the past 6 years and was "clean" for one year when the seduction of this drug lured him back. He was dealing with legal issues related to his addiction; something that cropped up from a minor incident more than a year prior to his death. He once told me that he never stopped thinking about heroin; it was always in the back of his mind. He used this drug to ease the pain of whatever life handed him. The stigma and guilt related to his death is very challenging.
I lost a child...a child I loved and cherished. No matter what the circumstances were resulting in his death..he is gone. And, I miss him. This emotional roller coaster ride is like nothing I have ever endured. I feel as though I am expected not to experience the same type of "grief" as those whose child has died of an illness or an accident. It is a strange feeling. But, he was once my beautiful baby, my inquisitive little boy, my troubled adult son.
My remaining children (a daughter 36 and a son 33) have provided a source of comfort..as well as my grandchildren. I am grateful for them and cherish them...but it does not lessen the sadness and grief I feel for the loss of Erich.