My Absolute True Love!!

Lost my husband Ed August 29, 2012 due kidney cancer. Actually a year before, had a kidney removed and was told it was a non-aggressive cancer so we'll catch it early and get rid of it. Wasn't given any meds and was actually told by the doctor that he no longer had cancer he "took it all out". Unfortunately, about this time last year his back started hurting. I figured it was because of his weight and he started planting a garden again after not doing for a few years. Well the pain got worse. Finally, July 31, 2012 at 5:30am he fell out of bed not breathing. I rushed over and tried to get him breathing again and i had just had surgery on my arm and it was wrapped up all the way to the shoulder. I actually had to rip it off to do what i could to get him breathing.

Ambulance came to get him thinking possibly a stroke. To find out that kidney cancer was in his lungs, spine and brain. Dont understand how a non-aggressive cancer can spread so quick.

Anyway, a month later he's gone. We had known each other for 8 years and were married September 3, 2011. He passed away 5 days before our first wedding anniversary. He was my whole life. I am so lost without him. He actually told me one time that if anything ever happed to him he wanted me to go on. I just didn't want to talk about it. I really don't know how to go on without him. I have NEVER NEVER love anyone else as much as i loved him. Don't understand how that perfect love we had was here one minute then gone before you know it. I really just want to be next to him. I visit his grave every morning. I just don't know what to do.

A perfectly healthy, big, strong, intellgent man taken down so quick by this DAM cancer!! Feel so alone!

Comments for My Absolute True Love!!

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Feb 26, 2013
My Absolute True Love !!!
by: Doreen U.K.

Tabatha I understand your anger. I felt angry also at my husband being abandoned in the middle of his care and he also didn't get the correct dose of pain medication and so he died in terrible pain. One morning the night nurse did not give Steve an injection for pain and Steve said that he was in pain all night. The next day he died and I challenged the nurse for not giving him an injection. She said she has been a nurse for over 30 yrs. and she never wakes up a person to give them an injection for pain. I LET HER HAVE THE FULL WRATH OF MY ANGER. I don't care if she has been a nurse for over 30yrs. SHE GOT IT WRONG WITH MY HUSBAND. I left her holding the responsibility. My daughter walked in the room then when her father just died and said to my audience trying to shut me up. "Let my Mum speak and say what she has to say." I then was screaming down the phone for someone to come and give Steve the injection for pain. This hurt my heart so much. They made us wait over 3hours till their clinic ended. Steve was in pain unnecessary. Only one good Doctor got it right. When I was on the phone explaining this. He was outraged and said this should not happen even for lack of funding. He sent an email to our doctor and he gave the O.K. for the medication to be given but the nurse didn't want to give it yet. So Steve died hours after they administered the injection. My heart is broken. I too AM VERY ANGRY. I too saw many mistakes made. I fought one battle for my husband in 2005 to get better care. I went to the top. The doctor came to our home and admitted mistakes were made. I dropped the case. This was more about them taking responsibility and admitting it. I felt better. But I am too weary to mount another battle. My husband is not here now. What is the point. If I was able to go to the cancer support group I could then speak up for other people. Right now I don't have the energy. You do need answers and must do what you can to get some sort of answer. I will be here to support you. You can email me direct with any stress or problem you have to

Feb 25, 2013
I am sorry for your loss
by: Tabatha

I am so sorry for your lost. I feel we were totally mislead by this doctor. I have no one who can tell me what happened. Just how a non-aggressive cancer did this. I do thank God that he didn't have to suffer long. I am so sorry your husband suffered, bless his heart and yours. I don't talk much to people about this. Very lonely and angry. I sincerely hope we can talk more. God Bless You!

Feb 24, 2013
My Absolute True Love!!
by: Doreen U.K.

I am sorry for your loss of young husband to this dreadful disease CANCER. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 10 months ago to an aggressive inoperable, incurable cancer caused by working with asbestos. I cannot understand how your husband died so soon with a non aggressive cancer. It just shows that the doctors got it so wrong. It is the hardest place to be without your husband. My husband worked hard for 47 yrs. and looking forward to his retirement and then he dies. He was very angry and sad about this. There was nothing he could do since he got his cancer from the environment he worked in. He lost all quality of life from the day of diagnosis. His cancer was a wasted 3yrs. battle which was very hard with being very ill all the time. blood clots, daily injections, shingles in the eye, heart attack, and pneumonia. Not to mention the mental and emotional anguish on him and us as a family. I know how you feel and what you are going through. We all can support each other here on this site but it is still our LONELY BATTLE. Because we still have to do it by ourselves. It is a very SOLITARY place to be and if we are ISOLATED from family, friends, and people we can suffer more with our grief. Try and put people in your life to support you. don't suffer in silence. Talk to people. This does help. We will never be the same again after our loss. The world can be a very lonely place if we have no one to share our experience's with or our life, even in friendship.

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