My awesome granny (mama)
by Johanna Ramos
(Spring, TX USA)
My granny passed away on 3/9/2014. Today marks her first month gone. Although, I am glad she is not suffering pain, meds, and tranfusions, I truly miss her. I am the second 8 grandchildren, but she raised my cousin and I. She was not only great and loving she truly was my best friend. I used to talk to her about everything and anything under the sun.
I have not been able to see her since 2005, but we Skype last July and spoke to her every other day. I feel so guilty, because I was not there for her and for her funeral. See the problem is that financialy I couldn't afford it, because of my weight.
I do hate the fact I am so big and because of that I could not fly to my country.
My mama used to call me nena o mija, she made the best coffee and the best rice and beans. We used to walk downtown for groceries and festivals. She taught me how to clean, be polite and have good feelings. She never judged me and in every activity I had for school, work or college there she was supporting. She walked more than 10 miles everyday for 16 days to see me in the hospital,because of my asthma. In 1994 my granny who did not know English and only completed 4 grade of elementary, hopped on a plane and travel to Virginia from Puerto Rico, just because she heard me crying on the phone. When I was little she used to play with my hair while I watch tv. She always told everyone I was her favorite. She loved me like a daughter, she treated me like a jewel and she helped me like no one had ever helped me. She did not have lots of money, but in my birthday, I always received a card with 20 dollars. Who is going to remember my birthday now? She really did not have any money. but she saved just for me.
She kept the family together, never lied to me and always made sure I knew I was loved. She taught me to respect myself and respect the elderly and never forget those who died. I love my granny and I feel empty now. I love God and I am saved, but this pain is very strong. My granny went to every vacation trip my parents took me to, I remember walking with her to the pool and the beach. She taught me how to love plants and plant them right. She loved plants, we used to go to places and she will just be looking for seeds or pieces of plants to plant them at home. I miss her and I never thought about been without her. I love her and always will remeber her.
The other night I dreamnt about her and she gave me a kiss on my forehead, it was so real that I woke up looking for her, but she was not there. I guess she just said good bye.