my baby angel
by dylan love
My name is dylan i am 21 and going through depression. It all started when i was 16 it was just a typical day for a 16 yr old male fighting with the parents hanging with friends. February 13th would change my life for ever.... my mum had gotten a phone call from my step dads sister saying that there taken my 2 and half yr old brother connor to the hospital he had drinken some poison. They picked mum up and rushed to the hospital. Connor was discharged the next day byt was later tajen back as he couldnt keep anything down not even water. His mouth was burnt and so was his throat, he started to cough up blood so the doctors sent him to the royal childrens hospital in melbourne. Once he was there he was put in a coma becuase if the pain he was in. Mum stayed down at the hospital with connor whilenmy stepdad looked after me and my other brothers and sister. We told the family to co,e around because mum was giing to ring to tell us some information about what was happening. We got told that connor would have a 50/50 chance of surviving. They did all they could o keep him alive but the damage was so surver that he passed away on the 23rd of march 2006. I was the only brother to go the viewing(which i do regret doing..... of a night time all i see is my brother laying in a coffin) i blamed myself for it even though he was nit in my care or in the same house as me. I tried ti kill myself many of times. With the support of friends i learnt to accept it wasnt my fault an that no one is blaming me . I was told that the pain will become easier but for that to happen it gets harder first im nit sure how ling it will take it has been 7 years since that haoened and the pain is still the same. I have come to terms he is not coming back and it has taken me 6 years to do so. I would never wish this on my worst enemy no matter how much i hate them.going to school after his death was hard most people supported me teachers students whereas other students thought they would make a joke of it....
The only thing i can say to someone that is going through the same situation as myself and alot of other people dint turn to drugs or alcohol that just numbs the pain but in the end it makes you mire depressed. Talk to people about write in a diary your memory's and fun times you had with them..i never did that and now i am going through more of a depression now then before because i bottled it all up in side.
Thank you for reading my story.