My Baby Sister

by Sean Owens
(Pgh. Pa. )

August 28th 2011,My life changed forever in the most horrific way. My Baby Sister Holly, commited suicide. There are no words for the pain that this kind of trajedy brings about. It was a bright Sunny Morning,and my Partner woke me with the most disturbing message. My Mother had called,and she needed us to come to her house asap. In my heart,I already knew what was coming. When we pulled into my Mother's street,there were unmarked police cars everywhere. We got out of the car,and men in uniform followed us to the front door. Inside, on the sofa was my Mother in Hysterics,crying,and repeating over and over,"This can't be". When you imagine that something like this,you imagine how you might act. I can tell you,that it was the worst day of my Life by far. My Sister was two yrs. younger than me,and was the parent of three Children. Two grown,and then my younger nephew who was nine. She struggled with mental illness her entire life,and frankly we were always on guard,waiting for her latest hospitalization,or episode. This time, she had succeeded. All I kept thinking, was, I would give my Life for her's,and was begging God to return her,and take me. That Morning, she was at a Friend's house,and in the heat of a bitter fight with her middle Son,she went into this Friend's office,and shot herself,with his gun. An ambulance came,but she had died on the way to the Hospital. God,how could we ever live through this? To an outsider, it would make very little sense. Holly was Movie star Beautiful,hysterically funny,compassionate,and a heart of Gold. She was the most compassionate,kind person,you could ever want to meet. To this day, I miss her,and Love her more,and more each day. I know I will never be the same,nor will her Children,or Mother. My Heart is BROKEN.

Comments for My Baby Sister

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Jan 19, 2014
Thankyou so much
by: Sean

It's been about two and a half yrs. since Holly took her life. I have to say that I don't feel any better than the day she did this. I am destroyed. I never knew a person could cry so much. I too am sorry for your loss. Nobody gets it,and heaven forbid you discuss it. It's a very sad state of affairs when a person can experience so much grief,and frankly,Nobody cares. Our society is entirely too self absorbed to feel another person's pain. Right after Holly's suicide I was hospitalized myself with colitis and kidney stones. I could barely stand at my Sister's viewing. The day she was buried, I was admitted to the hospital.Upon coming out of the hospital, my Mother had an intervention for me,because somebody allegedly saw me taking 5 pain pills at her funeral. That of course was a gross distortion of the truth. When I tried to explain this to this "Interventionist", she refused to hear any part of it. My Mother Threw My partner,Dog,Cats, and myself out on the street. Of course, there are many victims in a suicide. Nobody speaks in my Family anymore. Now I have nothing. Anyways, I want to thank you for taking the time to empathize with me.

Jan 01, 2013
My Baby Sister
by: Doreen U.K.

Sean I am so very sorry for your loss of your baby sister to suicide. What a tragic and painful loss of life. Most cases of suicide and loss of a child/Adult Child would need the support of a grief counsellor as this is a very painful type of death to recover from. My sister's son 6yrs. ago threw himself in front of an express train. They had to use thermal imaging to locate the body parts from the track. My sister was MAD WITH GRIEF and had to have a counsellor come to her home to support her. She was in pieces and couldn't function. The inquest was so horrific she could not share this information with anyone. Your Mom will need to have support for her loss.
I suffered depression all my life. In my 40's I was fortunate to find the best counsellor for me and I thought I would never recover. But I did and it was the best investment into better mental health for me. Prior to this I wanted to end my life. I couldn't go on. I WAS SAVED IN TIME. I then went on to give 8yrs. in voluntary work to Mental Health. I am very supportive and empathetic towards those who suffer depression or mental illness. I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE. I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE WHEN YOU CAN'T HOLD ONTO LIFE. YOU WANT TO DIE. My heart goes out to you and your WHOLE FAMILY. This is such a tragedy that occurs time and time again because there is a lack of support and understanding to help individuals. Many people struggle to hold onto life. Often there is little the families can do but LOVE that person and often LOVE is not enough. Many people are so BROKEN they can't live in their bodies and with the turmoil inside them. My nephew was shouting down from tall buildings. SOME ONE OUT THERE "PLEASE HELP ME." He was desperate. No one came. He couldn't Hold on. The Pain from this type of DEATH is devastating. You wonder how you will recover. TRY PROFESSIONAL SUPPORT. IT WORKS. My sister is in a happier place. Healing in her heart. But has the SCARS FOREVER. You will all HEAL in time. HOLD ON TO THIS. May God comfort you ALL in your Grief and Sorrow. My DEEPEST SYMPATHIES!

Dec 31, 2012
So Sorry
by: Catherine

I am so terribly sorry about your sister Holly. I know firsthand the hell of mental illness as my daughter Stephanie took her own life in September of last year (2011). She had tried it two months before and the doctors brought her back to life. But many times it seems they are determined to end whatever terrible things they are going through so even though we took away all her pills so that she could not overdose again. She found a way.
You and your family must be devastated. Your sister was a young beautiful woman and you wonder how you will ever get over this. It will take a long time to feel some relief but in the meantime keep writing on this site. You will find a lot of support and I am finding professional counselling helps. I will say a prayer for you and your family.
Please know that people care.

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