My Beautiful Baby Bird

by Kelsey

Westley was the first pet, I ever loved, and the first pet to ever love me. He was a 4 month old turquoise green cheek conure. We'd had him for 2 months.

He died yesterday after my sister accidentally stepped on him. It was of no fault of her own. He had come to chase after her on the stairs, and when she came back down it just... happened.

I barely slept last night, and when I did, I had nightmares about him. I couldn't eat much today, and I kept crying. I feel worse for my sister, who I know blames herself. And for my dad, who's hands he died in. My dad cried when he buried him. I've never seen my dad cry before.

My day feels so empty without him to care for, to cuddle with. There are times when I feel completely lost. I can't believe how much I miss him. I've lost a lot of people in my life. Nine years ago, my grandfather died when his lungs collapsed. Four years ago my aunt died of a heart attack and a friend of mine drowned. Two years ago my friend was murdered. Just a couple months ago, a little boy I used to baby-sit was killed by a drunk driver.

You'd think I'd be better at coping by now, but I still feel like my insides have been cut up. I just want the pain bit to be over.

Comments for My Beautiful Baby Bird

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Nov 30, 2016
My baby Lucy
by: Anonymous

My parrotlet Lucy and I were inseparable for 7 years. So many people loved her antics as she and I loved each other. She broke her leg last summer. I spent the summer nursing her back to health and carrying her around in a bin. Perfect recovery!!
Last week Lucy jumped from my shoulder and landed on the rug and I was walking. I stepped on her. She died in my hands.
My grief and guilt are immeasurable. Everything I do I think of her but with guilt. I killed her. Omg. How do we ever move on.
RIP my Lucy and forgive me

Jun 11, 2016
I am sorry for your loss
by: David

I saw your post today because this morning I stepped on my son's lutino cockatiel by accident and pushing his lower mandible into the tile floor. We rushed him to the vet, and there was no sign of internal injury, but here we are ~ 6 hours later and he is sleeping and won't eat -- even the baby food he was raised on. I hate this helpless feeling, where only time can tell if he will be ok.

I was convinced for about 30 minutes I had killed the sweeet little thing, then I had hope and now I am scared to death he is going to succumb to his injuries. His name is Frito Ray and even though he is my son's bird, he spends a lot of time ridding my shoulder and scolding me for the slightest perceived transgression. I love him so much.

I know your loss was several years ago and I hope that time has tempered you. I just pray now that my actions have not killed one of my best friends--Thank you for reading

Aug 03, 2011
Dad and Westey's Love
by: Geoffrey Campbell

Dear Kelsey, Westley really did love you, and your family and your Dad is really a very special man. Those conures really do love us, they are incredible little gifts from heaven. My Father and my brothers and sisters, ridiculed me at my tears when my little parrot died. I know their love is genuine, my parrot would cry for me to hold her, and the first thing she wanted when she awoke in the morning was not her food, but to be cuddled. She would just look up into my face, and make her little joyful chirps, she would follow me every where. I took her to church, to the grocery store, on long hikes she just sat on my shoulder.

Just a suggestion, you might want to get a little journal or diary at the dollar store, and right down in Westley's memory the things that about him that touched you and your family and your Father's heart. Maybe, just maybe, you might want to get a baby conure that has been hand-weaned, (they bond to us more easily that way) in honour of Westley. Not all parrots bond to us, some show deeper affection and love than others, but I know Westley really did love you, he loved your Father too, I know birds well.

I feel really sorry for your Father, for I can see this Westley really reached in his heart, I can understand this, for though I am not a Father, the vacuum that comes from an early passing is hard, we all need love and to be needed. Maybe you can surprise your Dad by saving up. I had to save the money my Mom gives me each week till I could get a new parrot, for I was secretly crying for hours every night when I recently lost mine. I will never forget her, I have a picture of her in this site under creative grief and her story.

Lastly, God is love, if you are faithful, and throughout your life will show compassion to all creatures, big and small, then one day, your Dad and you, will be met by a little blue conure waddling up to your feet, named Westley. This I know, for God is love, and He has surprises for us beyond what the eye has ever seen, or the ear has ever heard. Sincerely, you all have a friend in Scranton Pennsylvania.

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