My Beautiful Baby Bird
Westley was the first pet, I ever loved, and the first pet to ever love me. He was a 4 month old turquoise green cheek conure. We'd had him for 2 months.
He died yesterday after my sister accidentally stepped on him. It was of no fault of her own. He had come to chase after her on the stairs, and when she came back down it just... happened.
I barely slept last night, and when I did, I had nightmares about him. I couldn't eat much today, and I kept crying. I feel worse for my sister, who I know blames herself. And for my dad, who's hands he died in. My dad cried when he buried him. I've never seen my dad cry before.
My day feels so empty without him to care for, to cuddle with. There are times when I feel completely lost. I can't believe how much I miss him. I've lost a lot of people in my life. Nine years ago, my grandfather died when his lungs collapsed. Four years ago my aunt died of a heart attack and a friend of mine drowned. Two years ago my friend was murdered. Just a couple months ago, a little boy I used to baby-sit was killed by a drunk driver.
You'd think I'd be better at coping by now, but I still feel like my insides have been cut up. I just want the pain bit to be over.