My Beautiful Chrissy
(McCook, NE USA)
On Dec. 8th, 2012 it was a normal beautiful day in Dec. I walked across the street to get my mail, turned around , and saw my beautiful 10 year old cat Chrissy get run over by a car that never stopped. I did not know she was following me, in fact I had looked for her and saw her back on the front porch when I started. It was the most awful sight and sound I have ever heard. I remember her lifting her head once as I was running towards her, and she was gone. I am heartbroken, how can I not blame myself? I know I can't change anything, but my soul is shattered. Is it possible to heal? I know I am a little better, at least now I can pick where I cry. I guess time is the only thing that will help.Sharing my grief helps, my husband and family have been wonderful, they all cried too. But I keep 'seeing' her getting hit over and over in my mind, it's the worst at night. Every time I look at her grave I ask her for her forgiveness, I know she would never blame me, but how do I know? I do have my two 'boys' left, Casper and Burt, and now I have another dilema. Casper was born outside before we even moved in to our place. He LOVES it outside. But ever since Chrissy died we've just let him out and watched him. He hates it, but what do we do? He cries constantly now while in the house. Can I take the chance of losing him too? Can I convince myself that's the way he would want it?