My beautiful daughter, Christina 1975-2013
As we all know, one does not ever want to lose a child, no matter how old they are. We always assume we will go first, however, that is not always the case. My daughter, Christina was a week shy of her 38 th birthday. She had been in a car accident the week before she died. She had wanted to go to the corner store to buy an ice cream cone, she even left in her PJ's. When she didn't come home, I assumed she had stopped somewhere to eat the ice cream. I tried to call her cell but all it did was ring. I took my Meletonin so I could go to sleep thinking she was out goofing around. Next thing I get a knock on the door and it was the police asking me if she lived here. I said yes and was told she was in a car wreck and was taken to the ER. I called the hospital and spoke to her and she seemed ok, said they were running tests on her. I told her to ask if she can stay the night because I had taken my sleeping pills and would not be able to drive. Anyway, she ended up walking in the rain to a friends house. Guilt # 1. To make this story short, she was feeling bad and sore so ended up leaving work early. She went back on a Wednesday and had to catch the bus, a 2 hour ride to work. She and I had an argument that day and the next so we were not really speaking. On Friday I got up and she was still asleep so I woke her up to get ready for work, she said she was not feeling well and wanted to go to ER, she had been vomiting all night, felt dizzy and blurry vision. I took her in and they diagnosed her with post concussion. She continued to feel bad and was hard to arouse. She ended up having a seizure and was taken to ER again. She was discharged that same day and sent home. She passed away some time during the night. They had to do an autopsy on her. Final report when I got it was she had had a heart attack. I am still in shock and disbelief. She had the silent killer as they call it. I have so much quilt because I wasn't there for her in her final hours and I wasn't there to insist she be admitted to the hospital. I know she is with God and her suffering is over, but she had so much good things happening in her life. She was very talented. I aslo take comfort in knowing she didn't suffer when she passed as she died in her sleep. I miss her every day and the guilt has gotten better. I am getting closer to God through my Chritianity. I miss her and think of her every day. Treasure and cherish your children and never take anything for granted. I love her so much.