My Beautiful Girl

by Elizabeth
(Miami, Fl)

I am crying as I write this- 11 days after she is gone, and I can't believe I will never see her again. I lit candles, did the Monday night Memorial Bridge ceremony, and today picked her ashes up in a box memorialized for her. I have a husband that is wonderful...a little girl who is almost 2 1/2. They are the light of my loves, but this feeling is devastating. I can't believe the anguish I feel. I started a new job, working form home, which has allowed me the luxury to wallow and cry and read online about grief, and the souls of dogs always being with the owners they are soulmates with. And I try to be happy, and think that I will see her again, in this lifetime, if not next. I just can't believe she isn't here. Her yard is so empty.

She was 14 1/2. We called her the pig, or pigpig. Her eyes were human- she had a soul, as confirmed by so many who met her and gazed into her golden eyes. She gave us so many years, the last of which she was sick, and lost a third of her weight. But even now, I wish I had waited just a night more. I didn't spend her last night on earth with her. She slept on the couch with my husband, but I was tired and went to bed. I wish so dearly I would have watched a movie, and petted her ears a while, because by 3 Pm the next day she'd be gone. We had to put her to sleep, and I wish I waited an hour more, but we felt she was ready and was suffering. Her legs collapsed; she had several bodily functions fail, and then she simply collapsed off the couch onto the floor when I tried to get her to come off the couch to pee.

So many in the world are suffering, ill; I have so many wonderful things in my life, but I am so, so, so torn up about this. I pray to God to keep her soul well; and to bless me and take away the pain in my heart. I hope that writing this will help me. I am so so so simply lost without her.

Uma, I will remember you always. Thank you for letting us be yours for the time you were here.

Comments for My Beautiful Girl

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Sep 01, 2011
The bonds that link us .....
by: RuthAnn

The bonds that link us in life surely have to continue beyond ... I feel your pain and have recently experienced the loss of one of my closest friends, a dear companion who was also a silly, over-opinionated, verbal 12 year old cocker spaniel with a well developed sense of humor - we called him Logan.

Aug 29, 2011
Little critters whom luv us no matter what!
by: Jesse

I know the feel of your loss. I lost my baby girl Mimi just 3 months ago after having her in my life for 15 yrs. Still traumatized with losing her. Looking at her bed and it's now empty. Only time will somewhat heal us. I've cried more over her loss than the loss of my father. How can this be? She was so so dependent on me, slept with me and was with me 24 to 7. I grieve and grieve but my days r getting easier to bear. I pray for your days to be a lil' bit easier.

Aug 03, 2011
Dogs Love As Much As We Do
by: Sara

Dear Elizabeth, It hurts as bad as losing a person. We lost our old lady, Phoebe last Wednesday. It was so sad to see her health deteriorate. Toward the end we had to carry her, clean her, and all the while her big brown eyes would look at you, loving you and knowing we were helping her as much as we could. She knew. Now, I believe she is in heaven playing with our son lookin as pretty as she did when she was young. I believe that our pets wait for us just like our loved ones do. My son, Jonathan passed away 6/02/2011 at 31. So our Phoebe just compounded the grief. She is waiting for you. because you can't just dismiss an emotion that is that strong. I believe that animals have souls too. Be strong I know how bad it hurts.

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