My Beautiful Handsome Big Boy Spike
(Adelaide, South Australia)
On the 24th July, 2012 my husband and I made the heartbreaking decision at 4am to have our beautiful Big Boy Spikey put to sleep because he no longer had strength in his back legs to stand up by himself and he had cancer in his tummy. He had just turned 12 on 31st May along with his twin sister, Possum.
Spike, you were our beautiful handsome Big Boy. Your Dad and I loved you so much it was just heartbreaking to let you go but we knew we had to. You didn’t want to leave but your tired old legs and body weren’t able to keep going. I’m so so sorry I didn’t stay with you at the Vet but your Dad felt it was better if I didn’t. I really wanted to be with you and it tore my heart out leaving you please know I will always love you. Your Dad and I heard you bark asking us to come back and get you, it is so distressing knowing I wasn’t there to comfort you. Your little sister, Possy, misses you, we always thought she would leave us first because she has been so ill, it hasn’t been easy for any of us since you have gone. I tell Poss that you are waiting for her at the Rainbow Bridge and when you meet Possum again you both will be whole and not sick and you’ll be waiting for Mum and Dad to be with you too but Mum and Dad won’t be with you for a long time so you’ll need to be good and look after each other.
Spikey, the best boy in the whole wide world of Australia. You were such a treasure, you would give me cuddles, be protective and always be smiling and laughing. You loved going for walks and your big heart wanted to keep on going even though your old legs couldn’t. The joy you gave us is unmeasured, we loved taking you for walks and drives and also rides on the quad through the park, along the beach and in Browny’s paddocks and you loved it just as much telling your little sister off for barking when we put you both on the back of the bike. Your love of food too was incredible – you didn’t have an off switch. Poss just hasn’t got the same appetite as you, she no longer has her big brother to keep her in check when it comes to tea time so she doesn’t eat very much now. It’s not the same without you, there is a big hole in our lives, your bed is empty, I miss you not being here demanding to be let in, to get under my feet in the kitchen as I’m getting a meal ready, stepping over you in the bedroom when I climb into bed or lining up at the car door waiting to be taken for a ride to the shops. You’re the Big Boy and will always be my beautiful Big handsome Boy. I love you always Spikey and can’t wait to see you again. When your little sister comes to meet you please look after her and protect her just like you did when you were with us until we are together again.
The grief is overwhelming for my husband and I, when we talk about Spike we both get very teary and night time is worse for me, I get up around 3am and check that little Poss is still with us, I dread the day we lose her too. I am slowly moving on, every day is a struggle and I feel like I’m on automatic pilot, I just pray that my grief will subside so I can cope better. I caught a cold and chest infection and have been unable to shake it for several weeks and now my hubby has caught it from me. I know I need to look after myself and my hubby. Time is a great healer and it will take time. Thank you for allowing me to express my grief.