My beautiful Jet

by Maria
(Essex uk)

On Friday I lost the most precious being in my life. Jet was much more than a cat she was the child I never had and I had spent the last 10 months nursing her through the most horrendous effects of oral cancer which had been missed by my vet for some 6 months. During this time I was nursing Jet I went through many emotions which I understand may well have been preparation for the terrible pain I feel now. Jets last days with me were difficult but I will cherish the memories forever more. Jet was 17 when she passed but that fact makes things no easier for me. We had spent many years together and our bond was so tight that I now feel completely lost and broken without her. Jet was adorable and although she was small she had a very strong will and used it right till the end. Early on Friday morning after being awake for 3 days I begged Jet to close her eyes and promised her that she would feel better.......I meant to sleep but also knew that deep down that may mean an eternal sleep. I had taken the decision that I would let the vet help Jet to sleep on Saturday even though this is against everything that I believ in and and wanted for Jet. Jet fought on until Friday evening and eventually let go in her bedroom and in her mummy and daddy's arms. Even though I realise that Jet has been delivered from the nasty disease and its effects I I would give my every tomorrow for just one more yesterday with her. I loved my baby girl with every ounce of my being and had spent months bathing and feeding her at the cost of my own upkeep but would gladly do it all over again. Since Jet passed I have been unable to sleep or eat and have an urge to be with her every moment. My pain is so deep set that I have no idea how it will ever heal. I don't want to feel better as I know that better is not possible and if different is the only option then that is just not worth hoping for. I miss my baby so much and I can't help but wonder if she s looking down on me or if there is nothing after this life. I don't want comfort in the form of stories I want to hold and lover her as I have always done. The days now seem so empty without her as the great deal of care she needed was a 24 job for the most part. I love you Jet and I ll always love you baby girl. Mummy will never forget you my angel cake.

Comments for My beautiful Jet

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Mar 29, 2013
My beautiful Jet
by: Fran

Oh dear I am going through exactly this same awful emptiness. A month ago I lost my baby J.C. He really was my son in every way. He was only seven and a half years old.
When I have the courage I will write his story too. In the hope it might help others.

Feb 23, 2013
by: Maria

Thank you once again for you kind and comforting words. It was exactly a week yesterday and I knew that it would be a very difficult day for me. Despite the care of my partner grief does really make you feel isolated and lonely. I understand entirely what your husband said about not taking any joy in anything, I had made this observation about faith has been severely tested but yesterday I believe that Jet was with me in spirit. I had continually spoken to Jet over the course of her illness and we had decided that butterflies would be a good sign to let me know that she was free from pain and lived on. After a week of dreamless sleep I woke dreaming that Jet had been over my shoulder which was her favourite position......I then received a card from a friend with a bright colourful butterfly and Jet continually showed me butterflies throughout the day.
I had read the poem you recommended before you mentioned it and had selected it as the most appropriate to how I was feeling.
I miss my little girl so much but I am starting to find ways to allow my grief out....I bought a piece of mourning jewellery which is made of Whitby Jet. It just seemed so appropriate that I ll be able to wear something that not only holds her name and colour but also represents my grief.
I do appreciate you taking the time to provide me with some comforting words. its easy to forget that others are grieving when you are trying to manage your own grief which makes it that much more meaningful to speak to someone who is going through the same thing. I do hope you can now remember your Chrisdy with joy rather than hurt. It's so nice to know that others feel the same sense of loss of their fury babies.
Much love to you, Maria

Feb 22, 2013
Beautiful Jet
by: Diane

I know what you mean by saying the grief comes in 'waves'. It's been almost three months for me, and it appeared I was feeling a little better, then this morning I heard a song being played on TV and broke down in tears. Since I've been through what you are going through I hope I can help by sharing your grief and offering my condolences and any help I can. I'm making an effort to be a little more upbeat, my husband had stated that I didn't act like I took joy in anything anymore. I wanted to cry then too, my 'joy' was taken from me on that horrible afternoon. But the waves are coming further apart, thank God, I don't know how much longer I could have taken it. I still allow myself to grieve, after all when you love someone so much, they deserve to be grieved for. She was such a big part of my life that there is a huge hole in my soul right now. You've just lost your Jet, allow yourself to grieve, try to focus on the good times, not the bad. And please believe that the 'waves', in time' will become further and further apart. Don't get rid of ANYTHING of Jet's right now, if anything, pack it up until you are ready. I believe our babies can come back in spirit at times to comfort us, please continue to talk to her, especially when you think you hear those footsteps. God bless you for being such a good person.

Feb 20, 2013
by: Maria

When we know our pets are sick it can seem like the hardest thing in the world and almost as though you begin the grieving process before they go. I would say that I'm glad I got to spend time with Jet knowing that I could spoil her rotten before it was too late. Enjoy every moment with your baby and when the time comes you will rest in the knowledge that you gave them the best life possible. It really is the most rewarding thing in the world to be able to provide love and care for our furry babies who love us unconditionally and appreciate everything we do for them.
I wish you both all the best
Maria x

Feb 20, 2013
Thank you
by: Maria

Thank you to everyone for the kind words and support in this difficult time. It's now 5 days since Jet left this world and rather than easier things have seemed progressively harder. The grief washes over me in waves and in the odd moment that I'm not thinking about Jet I then come back to reality with a bang and feel so guilty. There have been times when I ve been convinced that I have heard her cry or heard her footsteps come down the hall. I have rushed from bed every morning to spend time outside at her graveside and have the quiet time that we had always enjoyed together every morning. At times I still cannot believe that I cannot see, touch and smell her. I am still unable to move any of Jets things and believe me this little girl had more beds and blankets than you could imagine. I still sleep with Jets blanket and continually smell her comb to try to get the scent of her. This grief really does test your faith and I really want to believe there is a rainbow bridge and that Jet is waiting there for me. Today is the first day that I have not spent the whole day wishing that I could follow her and I know that in time ill find some joy in remembering all the good things instead of bursting into tears with every memory.

Feb 19, 2013
by: Diane

I'm so sorry I called Jet a "he" in my comment. I knew Jet was a she! Once again accept my condolences, and Jet please forgive me, it was a stupid mistake!

Feb 19, 2013
Your baby, Jet
by: Diane

I am so sorry for your tragic loss. Jet was a beautiful kitty, and I'm sure he felt your great love for him. There is never enough time with our babies, but to lose them early is especially hard. You had a special bond that will never end, and Jet will live forever in your heart. Jet is free of cancer now, and is waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge! The tears seem never ending, don't they. I've cried so many tears for my Chrissy, and I felt the same emotions as you are now. I think only time helps lessen, but never erases, the pain. Our hearts are breaking and will never be the same. There is a poem on this web site under music and poetry called 'I only wanted you'. You may want to read it, I have it hanging on my wall. It will make you cry, but it sure describes the feelings of losing a loved one. We took care of a cat with oral cancer for a little over a year. Someone dumped him when his drooling and disfigurement became too great. I can't even imagine his bewilderment and how scared he was. He was covered in saliva, was drooling badly, and someone had even shot him in the hip. He had the biggest heart and the loudest purr, and I believe he found our house because he knew we would love and care for him, and we did. I pray we gave him comfort in his last days. God bless you for being such a good mommy to Jet!

Feb 19, 2013
My beautiful Jet
by: Doreen U.K.

Maria it hurts when you lose a beloved pet. I know how you feel. I lost so many of my cockatiels and then had to give them up for a better life in an aviary.
Sadly pets have a short life span and we will lose them from our lives. I lost my husband to the dreadful disease cancer so I know how quickly this disease kills. My daughter Maria want to buy a dog, but I am not ready. I couldn't bear another loss. Losing a pet hurt me deeply. I hate this part of loving a pet. When you have to say goodbye to them it hurts.
I do believe in an after life and I know I will see my husband again and the birds I lost. This gives me the HOPE to go on in life. Knowing I will be reunited with them all one day.

Feb 19, 2013
Beautiful Jet
by: Sandy

Felt your emotions while reading your blog on Jet who was really beautiful in every sense. Losing ones loved pet is the most painful event in a pet parents life. I have been through this pain and can understand your situation right now. The initial days after the loss are terrible and I know no words can comfort you. My heartfelt condolences to you . Now Jet is in Rainbow Bridge free from pain and playing with my Poochie girl and other kitties. Only time can heal you. Slowly you have to come to terms with Jets demise and if possible bring in a homeless Kitty and give it lots of love and affection.Though it cannot be a substitute for JET , it can surely bring in some consolation to you. Take care dear and may JET R.I.P

Feb 19, 2013
by: Debi M.

Maria -

I am sorry for the loss of your Jet. What a beautiful little girl. So hard to say goodbye to our loving, faithful companions that we love so much. My dog Shadow is almost 18, near the end of his life and I know when the day comes I will be very sad. Peace to you friend.

Debi M.

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