My beautiful man

by Rina
(Adelaide, SA.)

I lost my husband on Feb 20th 2010, after he lost consciousness on Jan 1st 2010. We did not wish happy new year to each other that day, we were struggling with I am not sure what. But we were not communicating at all for that last few days. Things were so stressful, we were visiting family and friends during christmas holidays.

I felt so detached from him so in my effort to connect, I asked him out for a walk, we went and he was quiet too, his phone rang and he spent most of his time talking on the phone. We arrived back at the house we were staying, he was quiet, just sitting there on the couch, then he said he wants to have a shower, he went, not more than 15 minutes after that he called out and asked to be sent to hospital. Just there my life started turning to a phase that I never imagined to be in. I lost my husband 49 days after that, he never regain consciousness, we never had a chance to say goodbye.

I love my husband, I missed him so much. When we met, we knew right there we will be together. We were from different world. We fought hard to be together, when he slid the ring on my finger and I kissed his hand on our wedding day we both felt the electric shock that passed across both of us. We fought even harder to stay together and kept the magic we had alive. We had our ups and downs.

We had 16 years together, it felt like a blink of an eye. It has all but gone, and what's left are snap shots of memory that I am struggling very hard to keep alive. My teenage children are also keeping their memories and keeping their heads up being brave.

How do I go on without the man that contributed so much to who I am today? He taught me about patient, peace, giving, loving, respect and much much more.

I live day in day out like it's a camping day out, as if we will go back to real living soon. Make the best of today because it will end and then we will go back to real life again.