My beautiful mum

by Jane brown

I lost my best friend in march 2012. My dad had died five years before and i missed him but stayed strong for mum. I know she was in her eighties but she was doing good. When she went into hospital it never crossed my mind i would lose her, after a week the dr said she was well enough to come home. I had everything ready for her. Made her bedroom at our home where she would stay before she went back to her beloved home. I saw her that night and kissed her and said i loved her. The next morning she passed away. I remember falling to the floor and crying please don't take my muma away. My world crashed. I have a lovely husband and two grown up children, my daughter has been very ill for the last few years. What and how could i carry on without my mum by my side?

Time has gone on but i am no better. Each day i cry. I will never get over it. I try to move on but she was the lady who would hug me, kiss me and tell me it will be ok. I loved my darling girl and always will xx

Comments for My beautiful mum

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Jan 21, 2014
I know how you feel
by: Doreen UK

Dear Anonymous I am sorry for your loss of your mother. It doesn't matter how long a person lives the loss of them will affect us forever. Don't feel stupid that you should have known your mother was going to die. WE are not meant to think of death till an appropriate age when do plan for this. If we thought of death it would rob us of life, because death would always be on our mind. Many people who are unhappy think of death more. I was one of them. From childhood I had a death wish and I didn't know why. It was a deep unhappiness and depression that wouldn't go away. I just struggled with this. Met the most wonderful man and married for 44yrs. with 3 children. Then in my 40's I couldn't hold on to life and so was fortunate to get one of the best psychologist/counsellors ever. I didn't believe that counselling would help me but went nevertheless as I couldn't feel any worse. Counselling was so very painful for me. I would go home disoriented and it would take 3 days before I could feel anything. By the time I went back for another session it happened all over again. Counselling became a habit I couldn't stop because of how I was feeling. A MIRACLE was taking place inside of me. It was if someone had given me this precious gift of life and I could breathe for the first time. It was the most amazing experience ever. VERY EXPENSIVE. But the BEST INVESTMENT I ever made for myself. I was blessed later with a lot of money and even this did not move me like the experience of having counselling. I got an inner Peace and happiness that can't be put into words. I hope every person who has counselling gets the right counsellor and has the amazing experience of HEALING as I did. I coped better with life and it helped me relate better with my family and they were healing from how I interacted and encouraged them. Counselling is a very highly skilled area of expertise and it does work even though many have not had a good experience. I have studied this and gave 8yrs. back in voluntary work.
You are feeling miserable. You need professional help. You may be stuck in grief and can't move forward. Your husband and friends can't understand this. You are doing the right thing. All grief makes us ill. We can't help this. Something happened to us to make us feel ill with grief. We didn't bring it on ourselves. WE often can't understand why it is so very painful. We would do anything to make it better and feel helpless to help ourselves. Allowing someone skilled to help you is a very mature response. I wish you all the best in the days and months ahead in your grief journey. thank you for your post. It stirred something in me to write to you. I also felt blessed by your expression. Best wishes.

Jan 20, 2014
I know how you feel
by: Anonymous

I know how you feel as it is the same for me. My mum died last July in hospital. She too was in her eighties and although her health had deteriorated I never once thought she was dying. I feel so guilty and stupid for not knowing.i didn't get to say goodbye.I didn't get to tell her I loved her. I hope she knew. I think about her constantly and miss her every hour of every day.My husband and friends tell me I will make myself ill if I don't try to get over her death but I am struggling big time.People who haven't lost a mother don't have any idea what it feels like. I can relate to everything you said and you are not alone. Thanks for posting it is good to hear that I am not the only one. I am starting counselling next week, I hope it helps me. Take care of yourself. Therese.

Jan 20, 2014
My beautiful mum
by: Doreen UK

Jane I am sorry for your loss of you mum. She was an integral part of your life as Mum's are, and forging a strong bond, causes us to become fractured and this pain is so very painful to recover from.
I lost my mum 10 yrs ago to a heart attack and I lost my husband of 44yrs. 20 months ago to cancer and this grief is causing me to feel the pain of my other losses. Crying is good grief, but it can also be so tedious. I feel my grief more in my body with physical pain. It is hard to move and I feel limited in how I can move on each day. Everything stays the same and I feel powerless to see change take place. the emotions of grief is the hardest to cope with and recover from. All we can do is give it time. Time is all we have in volumes. This grief journey feels like an eternity. I wish you better days ahead.

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