My beautiful, smart, funny, sweet best friend is gone. I miss her so.

by Miss Maggie's mom

I lost me best friend this week on January 4, 2012. Miss Maggie came into my life just under 12 years ago. I found her on the side of a very busy highway, she was about 6 weeks old. She was covered in mange, skin burned from the strong Florida sun. I saw her when I was going into the restaurant, just a shack of a place. She came around the corner obviously hungry and looking for food. I got up from my seat and picked her up. The waitress, this was an outdoor area,said "no dogs allowed". I asked if she belonged to anybody, they said no she was out on the highway all day and was going to be killed by a truck. I said " well she belongs to someone now".

I took her to the condo I was staying at, I was on vacation, and the next day found a vet. She was in need of fluids, worming, treatment for the severe mange and most importantly to be loved.

I kept her at the vet for a couple of days for treatment and then took her home with me, I held her the entire car ride home. When I got back to Atlanta I took her to the vet and continued to treat the mange, get her her shots, and fixed.

That was almost 12 years ago, I told her I loved her everyday, she slept in my bed with me and became friends with my cats and a couple of years down the road I found another puppy, again on the side of the road, and then she had a doggie best friend. Miss Maggie was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma last July, stage one. The cancer was confined to the top layer of skine, no heart, lungs or spleen invloved.

The vet advised us to take her to an Oncologist, the biggest mistake of my life. They told me they thought she was much more advanced even though the pathology from UGA said stage one. They told me she would be dead in weeks, I had a chance if I did chemo. The chemo was awful, the Oncologist was horrible. Sent her home with no antinausea meds. I begged for some, they said no, I told them she would get car sick if I came back in, to please let me pick up antinausea meds without bringing her in again I was told no. I took her in, she was exhausted from being sick, from the chemo, the lack of sleep and I am sure the pain in her heart why did momma do this to me. As a "precaution" they gave her antibiotics. Well they almost killed her, 7 days in ICU she had a horrible allergic reaction to the antibiotics. I went and picked her up after 7 days and $5000, she was no longer the Miss. Maggie I loved so much, she was a shell of herself, thin exhausted confused. This is a dog who was never once boarded. I thought the end was near then.

I brought her home, cooked for her, fed her by hand.She gained some of her weight back and would go out on the grass and snooze. She started to have tumors spreading all over , the vet I found told me the chemo so weaknd her immune system and the reaction to the antibiotics her body had no defenses left and it ravaged her. He saw the pathology from UGA and the first report after having the one tumor removed and he said there was no need to do chemo.

I feel such guilt, why did I put her through that. I normally took her to the beach in August, I did not because of the one horrible chemo.

Miss. Maggie made it 5 months, when they told me she would die in weeks without chemo, why did I do it, she suffered because I didn't stand up for her. I feel such guilt.

She was put to sleep at home on her sofa, with her friends near by, with her blankie and mommy and daddy touching her telling her we loved her. She stopped eating 4 days before and finally would not drink. I knew it was time but, I kept hoping she would eat, she would drink.

Thanks for letting me write this, I am just so mad and hurt and I miss my baby girl so much, the pain is so deep.

Comments for My beautiful, smart, funny, sweet best friend is gone. I miss her so.

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Feb 27, 2012
by: Kristy

I am so sorry for your loss. I too, had to put down my beloved 15 year old dachshund Porkchop. He too had stopped eating and drinking and would only eat food directly from my hand for a while before that. He was also blind and had canine senility. The pain seems unbearable at times, I know, but please know that there are many others who feel as you do and understand your tremendous pain.For those who tell you that she was "just a dog," my advice is to simply feel sad that they have obviously never been blessed with this kind of unconditional love.I will be praying for you.

Feb 22, 2012
I'm so sorry
by: Kari

First of I would like to say I am so sorry for your loss :( I just put my beautiful sweet boy to rest two days ago and it was a pain like no other. I will write his story on this site soon, but honestly I can't do it just yet. I have never suffered form depression or anxiety but at the moment, since his death I am a mess and am both extremely sad and depressed and can't seem to sit still or focus on anything. I feel like i want to jump out of my skin with grief. I can also relate to your story in that my dog too had cancer. I did chemo but was fortunate enough that he tolerated it incredibly well, he was the same dog after chemo and had no issues from it, the problem was that he never achieved the so called remission and the $5,000 it was going to cost over a course of 25 weeks became over $11,000 that year much of which we didn't have, but he was happy and seemed healthy (in that chemo and cancer wasn't keeping him down and it kept him alive another year so for that I am grateful) but what really ticks me off is that at the end he was no longer responding. ANother oncologist let it slip that the chemo he was on that stopped working gave him a heart murmur. His tongue was pale, he ended up getting secondary infections YET they were still trying to tell me they could try other chemos, not because they cared about him or thought he would get better, but because I know damn well he was their cash cow. I called and cancelled his chemo appointment and considering two days after that appointment was supposed to happen I had to have him put down, I knew I did the right thing, the chemo wouldn't have worked anyway but they would have drawn it out to make more money on him. I called to cancel that appointment and left a message and spoke through tears and my voice was cracking and I was obviously devastated. You would think they could have called me back? Nope. After spending $11,000 and having credit card debt from it all they couldn't have taken two minutes out of their day. To top it off when I called my regular vet he said the report on my dog from the oncologist didn't look good. How nice of the onco. to have told me that, no instead he sends the true report after I made the decision to stop and say enough is enough it isn't going to help him anyway. I am a bit bitter about this as well. Well now i have written some of his story, but I can't talk about him and how much I loved him yet because for some reason I can't bring myself to get it out on "paper" just yet. Hugs to you. I am so very sorry for your loss, but please remember that things done in the end leave us feeling guilty, but remember all of the wonderful things you did your dog's whole life. You thought chemo would bring you some hope and extra time. Your intentions were good. How were you to know that your dog wouldn't tolerate it well. Blame the vets, not yourself. You were a great mom and your dog loved you for everything that you did and for your big heart! Hugs to you!!!

Jan 25, 2012
You are a terrific pet person
by: Anonymous

That was so special, how you took your Maggie home that day at the restaurant. Thank you for
loving her.
I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds so special. The more I read about vets and from my own personal experience, the more I am against
WHen my beautiful collie came down with Heartworm, the vet recommended that treatment where they put poison into them and sometimes they do not survive. Since my beautiful dog was already 10, I researched it and found a wonderful
website where they use all wholistic, natural products. I treated my dog with heartworm free,
which was as expensive as the vets poison treatment, but he got well within 6 months and didn't have to suffer with the vets torture treatment.
I highly recommend this option if you ever have
another sick dog or cat. After the heartworm fiasco, the vet said my dog had cancer. Then I emailed Wolf Creek Ranch again and bought a number of supplements. Well, after the lady vet saying the lump was cancer, then 6 months later the man vet said he didn't believe it was . And the lady vet was going to do surgery on my dog. I got so frustrated, I didn't take my dog back there. My beloved dog is gone now, but I am thoroughly disgusted with most of the vets in our area.

Jan 14, 2012
Sorry for your loss
by: Anonymous

I had to have my girl put down 2 days prior to yours. All I can say is...vets are idiots.

Jan 07, 2012
Loss of a pet
by: Sheila

I am so very sorry to learn of your loss. I can tell by your story that your heart is broken in so many ways. I know that not everyone understands how someone can grieve so deeply over the loss of a pet but it is my opinion that those people are missing out on a love so deep that there are no words to rationally explain it. I have lost pets in the past that left me with a grief so bad that I felt in physical pain, that I could not see how I would ever recover from it. In the end I found peace in knowing that my pet knew nothing but love, felt safe, was as much a part as this family as the rest of us were. You are suffering from grief and although I wish I could say something to help ease that I know that you just have to walk through it and in time you will find our own peace. You are also suffering from guilt which can be just as crippling. For that I not feel that you did not stand up for Miss Maggy or that you "put her through" treatments. It is because you loved her so much that you tried so hard to find the right way to help her. You went with information that professionals gave you (and they often have different opinions) and you should be proud that you did everything you could. In time I think you will realize that Miss Maggy and you were lucky to have found each other.

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