My Beautiful Son Johnathan E. Leigh McGivney

by Susie Bowie
(Las Vegas, NV)


On May 11th, 2012 I lost my 42 year old son in a horrible incident. The grief and pain I am feeling is all consuming and unending. It starts when I open my eyes in the morning, then turns to nightmares at night and into morning again. He was a truck driver. The huge 18 wheel kind. He was supposed to be off that day but someone called in sick and it was at a close by farm in Arizona near his home so he agreed to fill in. The load he was picking up was bales of hay. The kind we see every day. Johnathan was in the back of the truck with his tool box doing something when the loader started loading. He was trapped behind a wall of hay instantaneously and slammed to the back wall of the trailer. When the loader was through filling the trailer, he closed and locked the back and left. My son was found 4 hours later dead in the back against the inside wall of the trailer. The cause of death was Traumatic Asphyxyation. How do you go on after a loss like this? It has been almost four weeks. We somehow got through the service. He had many many friends, and now I watch his sister suffer and can't say the right thing because I am suffering. I thought it would help to tell my story and read yours. Thank you for reading about my son John (nickname BBJ for baby John.)

Sincerely, Susie Bowie / John's mom

Comments for My Beautiful Son Johnathan E. Leigh McGivney

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Mar 13, 2014
Johnathan
by: Marge

What a very sad and unexpected way to lose your son. He obviously was a very hard working young man. I feel so bad for you. I am sure you are still struggling with his lost. Earlier I posted a message about the loss of my youngest son, Philip, in 2012 and he was 50 years old. Even though I had him for that long, it was not long enough. I am sure you are still having pain every day and I share your loss. I wish I could say something to make it go away, but because we loved our sons so much, it is still very fresh in our thoughts. Please take care and try to remember all of the happy times with him.

Marge M.

Jun 09, 2012
Wishing you strength to get through
by: Tricia from UK

Dear Susie my heart goes out to God what a tragic loss of your poor poor boy.I lost my son in an accident in March and I can honestly say that it is a living hell...how we get through each day as mothers who have lost someone so dear it hurts more than words can say. I am almost 3 months down the line and just getting by as best I can..I pray that you find strength from somewhere and I will keep you in my prayers....

Jun 09, 2012
So sorry, Susie
by: Gracie

There are no words to magically heal a broken heart. The pain has to come, so let it. Mine is expressed in boatloads of tears which provide a release for a moment or two. It's been 6 years since the sudden loss of our son to suicide. We do beg, scream, plead, but nothing brings them back. I was 2 years in a "dumpster" underground. I barely existed. No interest in life or the comings and goings of the world around me. My husband was suffering too, but he dove into his work. My baby son was suffering too, but he lived out of state and was trying not to bother us and go on with his life. 6 years later, he is marrying the light of his life and he has shared that his bro would have been proud of him. Yes, life goes on eventually. Yes, the pain eases a bit over time and I don't cry every day now. We never forget. My son is tucked deep into my fractured heart which only God can heal. I realize that now. I would love another email friend to share our stories with. If you would like, please email me at "impossiblejoy@yahoo.com. Blessings to you! GT

Jun 07, 2012
An unnecessary death
by: Paula

Oh my, I feel your pain, losing a child is hard enough but when losing one when it could have been prevented is something on top. How awful to have found out this. Unfortuantely your not alone in this pain and if I can find a way to send some relief I would. I'm so sorry and I really wish with all my heart you find peace in this life until we meet our dearest one's again.

Love and light

Jun 07, 2012
I am so Sorry
by: carol,seans mom

Susie, I am so sorry. I lost my son suddenly on November 15,2011. It has been six and a half months. I still cry every day and the pain is unbearable. He was only 24. He was my oldest of three and my only son. Life is different and painful now. I was once a happy mom who loved being there for all my children. I tried to teach them to be positive and good things will happen. And then tragedy struck. I am sorry for the pain you feel. Take one day at a time,somedays one minute at a time. I am still surviving that way. Memories are still so clear. I see him,hear him and for the rest of my life I have to miss him. It is unbelievable. Stay strong for others who need you here still. I hope you find peace.

Jun 06, 2012
Sorry
by: Lue, Jacob's mom

Susie, I am so sorry for your loss of your son, John. What an awful thing that happened to him. I wish there was something we could do to help each other in this horrible time, unfortunately the only thing we can offer is prayers and an ear if you need to express yourself further. We belong to a club nobody wants to be a member of. The best advise I have to give you is to write your feelings down, pray and hold on. One day at a time. Try to take care of yourself. Sleep, eat, the basics. I lost my son, Jacob to cancer 11 years ago and found this site one night when I couldn't sleep. You will get through this in your own time and own way but you will always have a piece of your heart gone. You will miss your child until you see him again. My story is Grief According to Lue and it will explain alot of how I felt after Jacob passed away. I will pray for you and your family and remember you do have alot on this site that cares and understands.

Jun 06, 2012
Deepest Sympathy
by: Christine

I was so moved by your loss! I lost my son a year ago due to a blood clot, That really was such a horrible accident that took your son! It hasn't gotten any better for me, you just learn to function. My son was 36, way too young, just like yours! It's against the natural order of life to have to bury a child of any age! God Bless you and I hope you do find some comfort on this site. I sure have, there are some really great, caring people who share on here and understand.

Jun 06, 2012
My deepest sympathies for the loss of BBJ
by: Doreen England U.K,

Dear Susie/Bowie,
I am so very sorry for your loss and what you are going through at the moment at the sudden death of your son BBJ.
What senseless carelessness on the person who did not check out carefully if anyone was in the truck and pay due care and attention to the job being done. I have a son of 43 and your son was 42 and so I understand your pain and grief at the loss of an adult child. Parents don't expect to outlive their children and this pain and grief will be unbearable. It will take you a lot of time to process and come to terms with your loss. You will never get over this but only time will lessen the pain.
My sister lost her son 5 years ago. He was on anti-depressants which cause suicidal feelings and so he threw himself in front of an express train. He was 30 years old. MY sister was mad with grief and had to have outside help from a counsellor in order to move forward. To see her today she is doing well and it is a miracle from where she was 5 years ago. She is a good support to me now. Losing a loved one is the most painfull experience to go through there is no words to describe this pain. It is like having your heart ripped out and the pain is so unbearable you feel you can't go on another day. You feel like screaming and screaming and screaming. I sit here all alone having lost my husband 4 weeks ago to cancer and I can't bear the emptiness and lonliness. I want him back. I don't want my life to change. I am worried about losing my children as it hurts so bad it makes me feel everyone is going to leave and I won't be able to cope with another loss. Life has no meaning now. Family members mean well and tell me I have to look after myself and go on. I feel like screaming I DON'T WANT TO GO ON ANYMORE. You stand in my shoes for a while and feel my pain. I feel as if my soul is bleeding. The soul and heart has gone out of our home. You can only take one day at a time otherwise you would be consumed by the immense loss. May the days ahead give you peace and healing from your tragedy.

Jun 06, 2012
To Susie Bowie
by: Wendy Evans

Susie,
Your story is more tragic than I can express. 4 weeks is a very short time to get any feeling of relief regarding the loss of your precious Son. I wish you peace and light as I know it seems very dark and painful for you now.

Jun 06, 2012
I feel your pain...
by: Mary E

I am so sorry hear about you losing your son, I to lost my son last Nov.2011. Everyday I think of him and you will too. Try to remember the postive things that he did in his life time. It's hard and you will never forget about him. I only have these words to say..

God Bless,
from a crying mother,
MaryE
TEXAS

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