My beloved Bookie- I MISS YOU!

by Laurie Johnson
(San Antonio, Texas)


My baby was born on April 27, 1993; he was my birthday present. We named him Erick, but I called him my little Bookie. Both he and I celebrated our birthday together. He finished his freshman year at UT of Austin and I was so proud of him. On May 14, 2012 I picked him up from school waiting to be released out of his dorm room. I remember telling him that I and his stepdad were so proud of him and how he had become such a wonderful man. The two weeks he was out for the summer he and his dad went everywhere together: shopping, playing games, etc…..whatever you could think of. The week prior to his death, he kept crying telling us that "GOD WAS SO GOOD." He posted over and over religious tweets on his Twitter and Facebook account. The banner of his FaceBook reads, "GOD IS LOVE". Saturday, May 26, 2012 he asked me to read to him about your name being written in the "Lamb’s Book of Life". I had to look it up on the internet since I didn't know exactly what scripture it was. I found the Scripture in Revelation and I read it to him. After I read it, he said, "I want to be cremated when I die." I was so upset! I couldn't understand why he was talking to me that way. Sunday morning, May 27 2012 my son came to me and said he had a dream that something happened to him. He said he was with friends and gun shots went off he hid in the closet. He said God told him not to come until God told him to. I was so scared....I told my son that the dream might mean something. At 1:30 p.m., the same day, Sunday May 27, 2012 my son asked to be dropped off at his friend's house three blocks from the house. My husband did.......At 2:30 p.m. on May 27, 2012 my son was shot three times and killed. The police said my son was hanging out with friends and started acting strange and took off running and banged on the door of an elderly couple's home and they thought he was trying to break in so they shot him. I'm totally devastated!!!!!!!!!!!! I have not recovered from this. The friends that he was hanging went said he gave them his wallet and his cell phone and said, 'He didn't need these things anymore," and took off running. The case is closed!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO MORE ANSWERS...just my beautiful son is dead....I feel so cheated....I can't shake this pain off. I just want to die. I have not answers; no closure; just my son is dead. He was killed three blocks from my home. I want him back.

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My beloved Bookie- I MISS YOU!

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Jul 25, 2012
 My beloved Bookie - I MISS YOU!
by: Doreen U.K.

Laurie I am so sorry for the loss of your son Bookie. It seems your son had some sort of premonition that he was going to die. He ran into the place where he would lose his life. Odd that he gave away his wallet and cell phone because he would not need these. He evidently knew in his heart he was going to die.
It is also strange that he dreamt of being shot. Everything happened as he felt. Bookie wasn't even shot in a homicide way. He died from people who were trying to protect themselves.
If you are not of the religious beliefs your son knew. Try and explore this. It may help you in your grief to understand some of the events that led up to the loss of your son. It is a mystery for this death to happen according to some plan.
But also in an innocent way. Who knows what our children are spared from if they lived longer. If he died at the right time, meaning he was spiritually right with God and ready for death. Then you will see him again when Jesus comes back to the earth to claim his children that belong to him and want to be in the new Heaven Jesus is preparing for those that Love HIM. Bookie asked to be cremated. He knew He was going to die.
My Husband knew He was going to die. Only he had 3 yrs. to suffer this reality that caused him so much pain. We are never prepared for death. WE just carry on till something changes and stops us in our tracks. Grief is unbearable for you now that you have lost your son. Try bereavement counselling to help you through your pain and LOSS. WE survive one day at a time and even this is hard.
WE will never have CLOSURE when we lose a child or even any loved one. WE just learn to live with it and the pain gets less over time. What is important is the HOPE we have. Death is not the end if one believes in God. WE are just passing through this life. It is not our permanent home. Your Son must have believed this. Which is why he had the understanding to enquire if his name was written in the Lambs Book for Life as stated in the book of Revelation in the Bible. The life to come is FOREVER AND FOREVER. This is our HOPE!!! I hope you find COMFORT in the days ahead.

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